Thoughts

Chapter two. Freedom.

Maybe it was the fact that it was my birthday; or maybe I was just tired of it all. I sat in the middle of the kitchen on a small kitchen chair, it was my birthday, I had finally turned eighteen. I didn't have a birthday party that day, no one even told me happy birthday. I was fine with that though, it was the usual. My friends and I had slowly drifted apart as my house life got worse and worse. I ended cutting myself away from the world after I turned seventeen. My family life has plummeted. After my step mom died in the car crash my dad went back to alcohol to console him. He slowly became a full brown angry, drunken, alcoholic. Today was like any other with my father, At exactly ten o'clock in the morning my father got up and went to the bar. slowly the afternoon passed by, I did the laundry, dishes, swept and mopped the floors. I dusted, and vacuumed. I even cleaned the mirrors and windows. At six o'clock I mad myself birthday brownies and a grilled cheese. I laid down at eight and fell asleep. Sadly at nine o'clock at night I was awoken by my drunken father. "What is this?' He yelled and I sighed getting out of bed and walking into the kitchen where my father was fuming about something.

"What is what?" I ask as gently as possible. My father snorts,

"Don't give me that tone of voice young lady." he points to the brownies sitting on the counter in a container, "What are those."

"Brownies." I say, slightly confused, I can feel my dads anger boiling off him in waves along with the sadness which is harder to detect than the anger. That worthless little shit. I instantly know that that wasn't one of my thoughts. I can always tell my clear thoughts from my father's fuzzy ones that are slurred and almost sound like a different language.  

'What makes you think that you deserve brownies." He roars and spits at me. I jump away. I know he's going to slap me before he even moves his hand. My head snaps back as his hand hits my face, that's going to leave a mark.

I take a step back from him then another. I gently touch my throbbing cheek and turn towards my bedroom door. "I'm moving out." I yell and walk to my bedroom door, "Just thought you may want to know." He laughs evilly, "You aren't old enough to move out." I feel the doubt that he's trying to hide, a slur of thoughts run through my head a mixture of mine and his.

"You fool." I smile and my father pauses rage starts to quake off his body. I try to hide the fear I'm feeling. "I turned eighteen today. I'm free." I half walk half run into my room and start packing my stuff into a suitcase. Too many thoughts are running through my head for me to make anything out; to many emotions are rolling through the air for me to make out which are mine. I hear my dad stumbling down the hallway to my room. "Wait, Dawn stop! Please, please forgive me!" I laugh sourly and walk to the front door. "Forgive you for what dad?" I yell. "For forgetting my birthday for the second year in a row? For hitting me? For coming home drunk every single day." I point to the bruises running down my arms the ones on my neck. "Forgive you for giving me these." Tears are running down his face," If I forgive you you'll do the exact same thing all over again I'm not going to let you do this to me anymore." I yank the front door open and walk onto the deck. "Dawn! Don't you walk away from me."  I step into my car and turn it on. Thoughts and emotions are still running around my head as my father trips onto the deck. I pull out of the driveway and onto the road. I don't look back, instead I look forward. Now the only thought running through my head is, freedom.  

Savannah, Georgia. Sleepy Inn parking lot.

The drive from Tampa Florida to Savannah Georgia left me exhausted. It's around three o'clock now and I really don't want to check into the inn. So instead I'm just sleeping in the parking lot. My car is pretty comfy I guess, with the leather seats. It's pretty warm outside but I don't mine. I just want to sleep. I slowly let myself drift into a dream.