It felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest, as if I couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't hear, couldn't speak. I felt completely numb. Paralyzed. I just stood there with my mind blank while my family was screaming and crying so loud everyone just stared at them, feeling their pain. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe my best friend. My sister. Was gone. The doctors kept talking to my parents and I could tell my parents stopped paying attention since the very beginning because they weren't looking at the doctor anymore. I could see the doctor's mouth move while he spoke but couldn't hear a thing, the only words I heard come out of his mouth the 10 minutes he was talking were "We did everything we could" with a look in his eyes as if he hates this part of his job. I hate this part of his job.
A hospital's waiting room is divided into 3 parts.The first ones are the ones who are desesperatly waiting too see what the doctors will tell them, they wait with a look in their eyes that they are scared of what will happen. The second category are the ones who are relieved about what they were just informed and are crying, but, not sad crying, happy crying. Those are the ones I envy right now. Then there's the last one and the worst one, the one me and my family fall into right now, the one in which everybody doesn't know what will happen to their lives now that everything just changed in an instant. That's the thing about life, one minute you can be okay laughing having fun, and the next you're gone just like that. Thats what happened to Samantha, my sister.
Growing up I was never that really close to Sam, like all siblings we fought all the time but never really talked, never really spent time together, that was until about 3 years ago when we became inseparable and went everywhere together, we didn't leave each other's side.
It's been a week since that night, and everytime I close my eyes I remember it exactly. I could still hear the crash from the car hitting the bridge and falling into the water, I could feel the water rising up from my feet all the way till I could breathe anymore, gasping for air when there wasn't any air left, I struggled so hard it took all I got and ir wasn't enought and then I remember looking at the passengers side to see my sister just sitting there, montionless. I screamed and screamed her name but nothing, I just saw bubbles come out of my mouth and nose as I opened my mouth everytime to scream her name. To get her to wake up. I felt usless. The next thing I remember was being inside the ambulance where I couldn't see Sam, I kept asking about her to the paramedics but no one told me anything. When my parents got to the hospital that's when they told us what happened to Sam, how they tried to get her to wake up but she was already dead. Man I hate that word. I've been stuck in my room blaming myself for what happened I haven't even moved from my bed in the last week, without going outside for anything, not even food. My parents keep leaving trays of food outside my door hoping I would get up and eat something but the truth is I can't. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I just lay on my bed with the blinds down, lights off, and the covers covering my entire body, up to my face. I wish I could stop crying, I keep wishing I would run out of tears like my mom used to tell me when I was a kid would happen every time I'd end up crying, but unfortunately that never happens. She was just so young. 17 years old. Who dies that young? I kept thinking avout how she'll never graduate high school, go to college, fall deeply in love with someone, marry and start a family. Her life ended so fast.
I lie still in bed, still unable to fall asleep, I could feel my phone buzzing every time people send a text, and when the bright light flashes it bothers me everytime, people keep sending me the same text over and over.
