My side of Highschool

Boys...

Allright.... I found several more pages I had written up... so here yah go.... oh... and ENJOY!! :)

                I feel as if that strange urge to not care what anyone thinks; what some people would call "rebellious", would subside if I got a boyfriend. Im only a freshman, so I'll have plenty of time to find a boy a can ring in, but I want one NOW. I take all that you would normally put into that special someone, and sent it spiralling dangerously into My chemical Romance, until my whole life revolves around them. If I got a boyfriend, i could take back the appropriate amount of love and attention from them and put it into my boyfriend, so I could love the band like a normal human being; can't I? Is it REALLY that easy? The answer to that, my friends; is no.

     Most guys dont even talk to me. I've gotten a few to talk to me in classes, but most of them just want the gum im always supplied with. I do have a few guy friends; but slowly I get bored of each of them and cut off my connections to them. Daniel... I liked him for a few years. Finally, i thought I had a chance. He took me out onto a running track after school so noone would disturb us, found a place behind some bushes, and tried to kiss me. No; kiss isnt the word. Kissing would have to involve starting with your mouth at least somewhat closed. He came at me, mouth wide open, and I stood there in utter fear. So, what does a guy do when a girl says she isnt comfortable? "No it's ok. You're doing fine." Yes, I am definitely doing fine standing here doing nothing as you try to eat my face, thank you for noticing. I tried to leave, and he came up behind me and grabbed my arm, pulling me tight against him. He started to touch me, I suppose trying to arouse me and get me to do his bidding. Now, I was uncomfortable. I tried to leave several times and each time he would tighten his grip, pull me close to himself, and literally try to stick his hand down my pants. I am not lying to you when I say that I thought I was going to be raped that day. From that day on, I cant be alone with a guy, I cant get to close to be at all intimate with a guy, and if I feel a guy might be planning on making a move, I immediately make myself unappealing to them.

well i am tired of typing on this story today.... *sad face*  I will write more later if anyone wants to here more <3 Night.

     Now, I did have a boyfriend once; Ben. He seemed nice enough. I had him in my health class. I had never talked to him before, until that day. My friend Chrissy and I decided that We wanted to dress like gangsters, just for that last block. We didnt just want to do it and have people in Health staring at us, so I went around and asked a few guys if I were to dress like a man if they would wear a skirt. Four brave guys said yes. "Im holding you to that." I said to Ben, and told him that I would provide the skirt. Next day comes, I brought a bag full of skirts and some man clothes. Getting to health, on boy, not thinking I was serious, backed out, but I had three guys in skirts, one of them being Ben, and me and Chrissy got into our baggy pants and hats.

     Ben started to move to the seat in front of me to talk and pass notes with Chrissy and I.