Blinding, Deafening, Love

Chapter 1: Always pack a parachute

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"Mom we're going to be late" I yelled hoping she'd hear my urgency. Like, if your going to be on a plane for 4 hours no one is going to care about what you wear.
"Is Nova and Colton down there?" She asked.
I looked to the back of me and saw my five year old sister yawning and my 1 year old brother in his car seat sleeping by the door.
"Yea, they're down here".
"Let's do this!" She shouted proudly while stumbling on the steps.
"Do you need any help?" I said to my struggling, weak, mom carrying the luggages.
"Yes, I do"
"Well, I can't, sorry"
She looked at me and put her middle finger at me, after dropping the bags.
"Oh, that was mean" I stated. I rolled my eyes and picked up Nova and carried her on my hip and carried Colton's carrier. I opened the door and brung Nova and Colton to the taxi van and buckled them in.
"When we get to your sister's, I want you to be nice, even if it's fake nice, and welcome her fiancé, please " my mom pleaded.
Right, so i'll just go and see my bitch of a sister who ditched her family after losing our father, and I'll attend her wedding as a good little sister, even though this is the first time I'll have seen her since, let's say.......about a year and a half ago, sounds dandy.
"Yea, fine" I answered trying to hide the fact I am pissed.
"I'll pack the rest in and then we'll go" she says nicely .
I went into the passengers seat and stared at my house and drifted off
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"Thea, wake up"
"Dylan O'brien, is that you?" I questioned.
"Damn Thea, do I really sound like a guy?"
"Both" I said groggily
"Mommy said a bad word" Nova pointed out.
"Mommy doesn't care, Nova" my mom responded.
I got out of the taxi, and grabbed my luggage and Colton who was sleeping soundly in his baby carrier. I deserve an award for not falling while wearing heels.
"I don't like planes"Nova shyly said.
"It's fine Nov, the plane knows how to fly, it's like a really big paper plane, you'll be safe, baby" my mom told her with a smile, as she caught up to us.
"But, paper planes don't fly that well" Nova whimpered,
Way to look at the down side. Such a pessimist.
"Here"
I shoved her a bag of skittles, hoping it would cheer her up.
"I'm okay now" Nova said with a smile, while she threw a hand full of skittles in her mouth. "Is Colton asleep?" My mom said softly
"No"
"Damn.....well, we should hurry before we miss our flight!" My mom yelled.
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"Now boarding, to New York, Flight 487" the speaker boomed.
"And that's us, you have your luggages, sandwiches, and your tickets?" My mom questioned us. She didn't wanna waste money buy buying food, and on the plane, they only give you chips. Money saver over here made sandwiches for us.
"Yup.."
"And I have everything?" She asked herself.
"Let us go fourth!" she said as I picked up Colton.
We got our tickets scanned and got on the plane.
"Which row is D22?"
"Right here" the flight attendant tells me as Nova was trailing behind. We put the bags on top and slid into the seats.
"I want the window seat, I want the window seat" Nova called "Fine, but you have to drag my luggage went the plane lands"                    
"Deal" Nova said as she jumped into the window seat. I slid in and took the middle seat and and buckled Colton's carrier in and put on my head phones. All this time and she never called us. Ever. You don't just leave your family after someone dies, that's just a bitch move, Raea just had to leave after dad died. Why can't I just stay home and eat, sleep, eat again, breathe, and eat again. Ughhhhhh. You know, I'm just gonna sleep it off. I put on my headphones after talking to myself like a crazy person.
I don't know where I am
I don't know this place
Don't recognize anybody
Just the same ol-
"Hey, why'd you do that for?" I asked Nova after she ripped out my my headphones.
"Where's mommy?"
"She's in the back, why?" I asked softly.
"I have to go potty" she whispered falling back to sleep.
I chuckled and put my headphones back on.
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"Thea, wake up, Thea, THEA!" Nova yelled at me.
"What? What happened?" I worriedly said. The turbulence was rattling loudly and the plane felt like it was going down.
"The plane guy said that...that something was wrong and then the metal wing thingy flew off"
"Thea, what..what's happening?" She said in between cries. I stared ahead of me. This must be a dream, am I fucking dreaming.......oh my god, what the hell! I looked out of Nova's window and saw that the wing broke in half and it was on fire. Holy, golly, good hell.
"Nova, where's Colton? He was right there, where is he?" I looked at the empty row next to us and saw him crying in his carrier. I unbuckled myself and went to grab him and went back to my seat with him, and buckled my self and Colton's carrier in. The back of the plane came off and I felt the rush of the wind come in. I looked to the back and realized it was all disappearing. There was nothing, just a hole to see the clear night.
I watched more pieces of the plane fly out. We're going to die, oh my god, we're going to DIE. I'll never get to meet Dylan O' Brien, or Jackson Avery.
I took Colton out of the carrier and hugged him close.
Wind was rushing in, and parts of the plane vanished into thin air.
"We're probably going to die, little ass-kicker" I said to him.
Tears were streaming down my eyes. "Please let us be okay" I cried. Nova held on to me as I held on to Colton and her.
The plane kept making loud sounds. People were screaming, and people kept flying straight out of the plane.
"We're going to be fine" I said over and over again, hoping we would. And then we crashed.
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"Nova, Nova, NOVA" I screamed as I woke up, looked to my left. She was unconscious and had a big gash on her forehead. I shook her trying to wake her up but she didn't budge. Colton was still in my grasp, crying. I pulled his carrier towards me, buckled him up, "We're gonna be okay, don't worry, little ass-kicker" I sniffled. I grabbed Nova's wrist and checked to see if she had a pulse. There was nothing. No feeling of a pulse. "Nova, no, no, no, please, you can't die on me" I cried. This isn't happening right now, this is just a nightmare, this just isn't real. I pinched myself and closed my eyes. I opened my eyes and I was still here. Okay......this is really real. I picked up Nova and put her in the middle of the un-angled aisle and I started doing CPR. "One. Two. Three." I repeated as I kept pressing on her chest.
"Nova, come on, come back, please, I've lost Dad, I ca-ca can't lose you-you ta-to" I slurred. I started to feel dizzy and my head was pounding, and then
everything went black.
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"Where am I?" I looked at my arm to see that there was an IV attached to it. I was in a hospital bed that reminded me of Grey's anatomy.
"Am I in an episode of Grey's anatomy or something?" I asked as the nurse walked in.
"You still watch that show?" A familiar voice asked.
"Raea, is that you?" I asked. I didn't want to turn my head because I was afraid I'd snap my neck in the process, and die, and then I'd probably never meet Dylan O' Brien.
"Ya, its me" she said after she grabbed my hand and held it.
"What happened?" I asked, For some reason I only remember getting on a plane and going to sleep.
"The plane you were on crashed" she said sounding stuffy. Memories started coming back to me after she said that.
"Where's Nova and Colton?" "And Mom?" I said quickly hoping that they were okay.
She looked down at the ground and I saw some tears drop the ground. She looked back up to me and I saw the sadness and tears welling up in her eyes. 
"No, no, no, no, no, please, no" I cried. Tears were streaming down my face.
"Colton's okay, Nova....Nova was fine and then her heart gave out, she.....she didn't make it" Raea cried. "And they found Mom's body..... She didn't make it either " "They said the whole back of the plane broke off, and she went out with it" she said trying to speak clearly.
"Oh, god, no, no, no, no, no, Why" I cried "No, no, no, no, no". I pulled my legs up to my chest, and just cried for a  few minutes until I finally calmed down. "Can I see Colton?" I asked stuffily.
"Ya, sure" she said before wiping her nose. She went out of the room and down the hall. When she came back, she brung someone with her who was holding Colton.
"Jordan?" I questioned.
"Hey, ass-kicker" he said,  handing Colton over to Raea. I got off of the bed and tried running over to him realized how red and puffy his eyes were and how much pain in right now, wow, this hurts like a bitch. I went over to him and hugged his torso.
"I soon as we heard you guys were in a plan crash, I thought...... I thought you died" he said sniffly.
"Don't worry I'm right here, I'm right here" I said trying to comfort him while he held on to me tightly. He's my best friend and He left California his senior year of high school. I met him through Raea, he was her first boyfriend and somehow I became best friends with him, even though we have a four year age gap.
"I know this isn't the right time to bring this up, but...we have something to tell you" Jordan said carefully pulling away from me.
"Who else died?" I whimpered tears almost coming down my eyes.
"No, no, no one else died" he  assured me quickly.
"I'm your sister's fiancé"
Wow. There couldn't have been a worse time to tell me this.
"Bad timing, Jordan" I said
"Ya, that probably wasn't the best idea" he responded.
There were a few moments of silence until I finally realized, I still haven't seen Colton. I was still standing in front of Jordan and I turned around and took Colton from Raea.
"Hey, little ass-kicker, you must've been so scared, but your okay now" I said to Colton. I laid him on the bed and played with his little legs and thought, What's life gonna be like for him without his dad or mom? What's my life gonna be like without Mom and Nova? I honestly don't want to think about it, please stop thinking about, seriously stop thinking about it brain. Oh god, now I'm gonna start crying. He kept on babbling and kicking his legs around, looking all innocent. He probably doesn't even know that his mom, dad, and sister are dead.
"He looks like dad" Raea said interrupting my thoughts.
"And he has mom's eye-"
"Can we not talk about her" I snapped.
"Please, just don't talk about her yet" She looked at me with sad eyes and said
"I miss mom too, she meant so much to me, I know what your going thro-"
"Can you just......not, please, just shut up, you do not get to tell me that, you have no idea what it was like to watch your sister die, you haven't experienced this past year n' a half with me, so, no you couldn't understand. When you left it was just me, Mom, and Nova. I was there when she would cry herself to sleep because missing dad hurt so much, I helped her through that. I was there with mom when she was giving birth to Colton and she needed someone's hand to squeeze, I was there when mom suffered from postpartum depression after Colton was born and she didn't want to see the baby or touch him, I was the one who took care of him and help her through that, you have no idea how much I had to grow up, because you wanted to be a selfish bitch and not take care of your family as the adult you should of been, now Nova and mom are dead, because of you! All because your stupid fucking wedding!" I yelled.
"So please, don't say you know what I'm going through" I finished
Yes, I am a bitch, but everything I said is true. If it weren't for her saying 'Oh come to my wedding and be my maid of honor, oh dear sister and we'll be a happy family'.
She stared at me, I am already crying, and she had tears threatening to fall from her face.
"I just want to be alone, just leave me alone" I said, handing Colton over to Jordan. Jordan walked out with the baby and Raea just sat there.
"Please, just get out"
She didn't say anything,she didn't move, she looked shock like someone just died, well, someone did die, but she has that face on.
"JUST GET OUT!" I yelled.
She finally got up and walked out of the room and left me alone. I laid on the hospital bed, and realized, my mom is dead, and my little sister is dead. I never really got the chance to let that sink in before, I cried, but it didn't really feel as if they were dead, it just felt like they weren't here, but now I know. They're dead.
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