Despicable me 2

finishing chapter 2

"This is bogus!" Gru declares. "I don't know who you people think you are, but-" "We are the Anti-Villain League," explains Silas. He summons a map that shows all the AVL offices around the world. "It's an ultrasecret organization dedicated to fighting crime on a global scale. Rob a bank? We're not interested. Kill someone? Not our deal. But you want to melt the polar ice caps? Or vaporize Mount Fuji? Or even steal the moon? Then we notice."

"First of all, you've got no proof that I did that," Gru says, his arms folded. "And after I did do that, I put it back!" He adds.

"We're well aware of that, Mr Gru," says Silas. "That's why we've brought you here. I am the Leagues director, Silas Ramsbottom." Upon hearing the name the two minions start giggling.
"Bottom," repeats Tom, pointing to Silas big butt. Silas bristles. "Hilarious," he says with a roll of his eyes. He instructs Lucy to continue with the debriefing.

"Oh me now," she says nervously. "Umm... Recently an entire top secret Russian lab disappeared from the Arctic Circle. Yeah, the entire lab! Just whoosh! Gone. Where did it go?"

On a screen above them, an image of the magnetic ship that stole the laboratory appears. The screen switches to show footage of a cute furry bunny in a science lab. "The lab was devoted to experiments involving PX-41 you ask? Um its pretty bad. Look..."

Gru and the others watch the video footage of a lab technician approaching the bunny. The technician holds a syringe that contains purple liquid. As soon as it's injected the bunny transform into a hideous purple monster bunny! Then it goes crazy and attacks the scientist, the technician and even the camera!

"Hmm, you usually don't see that in bunnies," says Gru.

Silas voice grows serious. "As you can see in the wrong hands, the PX-41 serum could be the most devastating weapon on Earth. Fortunately, it has a very distinct chemical footprint. Using the latest chemical tracking technology, we found traces of it the Paradise Mall."

Gru skeptically questions, "A mall?"

"Precisely," Silas answers. "And we believe that one of the shop owners is a master criminal. That's where you come in." He looks directly at Gru. "As an ex-villain, you know how a villain thinks, how a villain acts."

Lucy explains the details. "The plan is to set you up undercover at a shop in the mall, where hopefully you'll be able to-"
Gru shakes his head and says, "Okay. I can see where this is going with all the Mission: Impossible stuff but no. No! I am a father now. And a legitimate businessman. I am developing a line of delicious jams and jellies." Silas shoots him a look. "Jams and jellies?"

"Oh attitude! That's right!" Gru says proudly. "So thanks, but no thanks. Oh and here's a tip: Instead of zapping people and kidnapping them. Maybe you should just give them a call! Good day, Mr. Sheepbutt!"

"Ramsbottom," corrects Silas, fuming. "Oh yeah like that's any better!" Gru replies. He turns and heads for the door, followed by the minions. Gru exits AVL headquarters, which he now sees is on a submarine.

Lucy stops him. "Look," I probably shouldn't be saying this," she begins. "But your work as a villain was kind of amazing, so if you ever want to get back doing something awesome. Give us a call." She hands him her business card, which Gru takes.

Then he and the minions row back to shore, wondering what on earth just happened.