new york wonders [joshler]

IV

::.Tyler.::

"That was the worst idea you've come up with yet," I scoffed at my old friend, Ryan Ross. He shook his head, making his hair move. "I bet you couldn't come up with anything better." He retorted, rolling his eyes.

"Anything could've been better than that. I scared him and made him choke on his lunch! How's that for a first impression. I can't believe I actually did that." I said, obviously embarrassed at what just happened.

"Listen, the kid could've punched you in the face, but he didn't, am I right? Get over it and and man up a bit." Ryan said back to me, clearly annoyed at my anxious self.

"How am I even to know he likes guys? He could be the straightest person out there." I asked, freaking myself out even more. What if I just completely ruined even a chance at friendship with Josh? I looked over at his table in the corner and see his head in his hands.

"I'm gonna go back over there, see what's up." I said, standing up. But, as soon as I started walking, Josh picked up his books and ran out of the lunch room.

Another fuck up Tyler. You should just stop.

I shook my head, making myself go dizzy. Grabbing onto a table, I waited for the head rush to go away. That was the only way I could get the voices out. I sat down, suddenly becoming too light headed to even stand.

Before I knew it, I was kneeling over the toilet, losing the small amount of lunch I had eaten. I thought I had gotten rid of this habit. I suddenly began crying, which is something I never did in school. Why is this happening to me again?  I thought of the horrible memories from the previous years and all of the miserable times.

I sat in my shed, thinking too much. Looking at my journal next to me, I suddenly lost my temper. I ripped the pages out, shredding them with my own fingers and throwing them onto the floor. Nothing I said mattered anymore. Getting my feelings out didn't help anymore. I was as low as I could get.

I collapsed onto the floor, laying on my side. I picked up a piece of shredded paper and tried to read what it said. All I could make out was '-can't comprehend why he woul-'. I decided I had had enough. I picked up the ripped paper and threw them into the trash. Then, I picked up the journal I had relied on for so long. It had all of my secrets and feelings and memories in it. I tossed it into the trash. Nothing mattered anymore. My journal. My entire life.

I picked up a box of matches and swiped one across the side. The flame ignited, making me flinch. I flung the match into the bin, watching all of the papers catch on fire. The wall that I was across from became black, the fire growing bigger by the second. I sat at my desk with my head in my hands, waiting for everything to go black.

Instead of things going as planned, my mother came running in, dragging me out of the shed. I screamed at her and kicked her and hit her, and I tried to yell 'I just want to die', but my lungs were so full of smoke that I couldn't get more than a whisper out. My mother went back into the shed to salvage anything that she could. She never came back out.

I picked my head up, tasting blood in my mouth. Reliving that nightmare was probably the worst thing that has happened to me recently. I had gotten it out of my head for so long. 6 long and painful years had gone by since that day. The day I ruined everything. The day my mother died. People say I killed her. It's always my fault.

- - -

I walked into my economics right when the clock turned 12:09, which was when the bell rang.

"Sir, please stay standing, I'm assigning seats." My teacher said to me. The loud ringing sounded in my ears, indicating that class had started.

"Alright class, I am Mr. Wentz and you're all stuck with me for the semester. Now, I will be giving you seats randomly, not alphabetically. Let's start with the first row. First seat is Chris Cornell, then Marina Diamandis, Tyler Joseph." The teacher said. My ears perked up when he said my name, and I sat down in my seat.

"Next row. Melanie Martinez, Spencer Smith, Joshua Dun." My heart immediately sped up when he said Josh's name. Mr. Wentz stood, waiting for everyone to take their seat, hesitating to move on with seats. He must have realized that Josh wasn't in the room, because he headed to his computer to mark Josh absent.

The girl in front of me, named Marina, turned around to speak to me.

"Do you have a pencil?" She asked, a slightly hesitant look on her face. Just then, I had remembered that I left my pencil in the bathroom.

"Gosh, I don't even have my own, sorry." I respond apologetically. The girl stared at me for a moment, and turned back around. I watched as she asked a different girl, Melanie, for a pencil. She seemed to have plenty.

Marina was a very beautiful girl. She had an accent, which I later on learned to be Welsh. She had brown shoulder length hair, falling perfectly. She wore a bright red lipstick, which suit her perfectly. I noticed that she had a little black heart tattooed on her pinky.

Melanie, on the other hand, was rather peculiar. Don't get me wrong, she was beautiful, but in a different way. She had straight medium length hair, that was black and purple in color. But, it wasn't a normal color. She had the left side of her hair black, and the right side purple. She had her septum and her nose pierced. Her dark makeup matched her outfit, which was a pastel purple crop top that had flowers on it, and a pink frilly skirt. She had tattoos all up and down her arms and legs, and children's themes. She was very interesting and beautiful.

I heard the door open and shut, and a small squeak when it slammed close. I looked over to see that it was Josh, who looked very frazzled. He sat down next to me, and put his head down right away.

::.Josh.::

I walked into econ, only to see the person whom had been all around my head today. Or maybe it was Tyler. Yeah, it was Tyler. On top of being embarrassed for being late, I also happen to sit directly next to Tyler. I plopped my stuff down onto my desk and sat.

"Hey Josh, you alright?" I heard a voice ask me. I picked my head up from my arms and glanced at him.

"Yea, I'm fine." I say and immediately put my head back down. I heard Tyler sniffle a little bit and turn back to the front of the class.

You're such a jerk Josh. This is why no one wants to be friends with you.