Never Forget

First Meeting

I'm sat at the back end of the bus with Nickelback's - Photograph blasting through my earphones. I feel the rhythm of the song flowing in my veins straight towards my heart. I close my eyes and smile, whilst gently bobbing my head up and down to the song. A reassuring shiver travels down my spine, warming me up.

I'm blissfully unaware of the middle-aged man sat opposite me, peering at me through his slightly foggy glasses. Feeling a pair of eyes on me, I suddenly open mine and scan around the bus for the culprit. I catch him looking at me and politely smile at him. He abruptly turns away, but not before he quickly glances at my wedding ring. I thoughtfully trace the shape of the metal around my ring finger. Without warning, I begin to feel very self-conscious of the cold metal on my left hand. I swiftly take it off and place it in my hand. I peek down at the yellow gold wedding band and begin to wonder if I had made a terrible mistake. I drift off as the memories of that day fill up my head.

"Does it hurt?" I asked anxiously, awaiting my turn with the hair and makeup artist, Grace.
"No, not at all! I just can't wait to see the end result. The makeup looks so good though! Thank you, again." Replies my sister.
"That's gotta be like the tenth time you've said that Georgia..." I laughed, shaking my head.
"You are going to look so beautiful by the time she's done with you."
"I really hope so! I'm just scared that someone will outdo me..."
"Don't be silly! You're the bride to be, Hannah. I'll make sure you blow them all away." Grace chipped in.
"Thank you Grace, I have no doubt that you'll make me look stunning."
"Of course I will Hannah! I still can't believe you're only eighteen years old and you're getting married."
"Huh, tell me about it, I'd never have thought that this time last year-I'd be getting married at this age."
"Oh well, as long as you're happy, yes?"
"Yes, that's right." I laughed half-heartedly.
"Right, all done Georgia!" Grace beamed.
"Georgia! You look so amazing, sis!" I squealed and gave her a tight hug.
"Alright, alright! Don't ruin it now." She chuckled playfully.
"Forgive me, my princess." I joked as I knelt down on on knee.
"Get up you weirdo. It's your turn to sit on the throne now... my Queen."
"Hey, where's Michael?" I asked, realizing I hadn't seen my brother for a while.
"I'm sure he's downstairs, don't worry about him right now, okay?" Georgia replied with a reassuring look on her face.
"You're right. Let's get this show on the road then! Grace... make me look absolutely stunning!" I smiled determinedly.

It felt like a whole hour had passed, by the time Grace had finished doing me up. The whole room was dusty with powder hanging around in the air between us. I felt so fake with the heavy makeup and equally heavy dress on. This wasn't me. But it's already been planned and paid for, so there was no way of stopping the wedding. It was as if time was slowing down - and not in a good way.I had to hold onto my sister to keep myself from falling over with my heels on. I remember approaching the mirror and catching a glimpse of myself for the first time with my wedding dress on and my makeup completed. I paused for a moment to take it all in. Tears started forming, threatening to flow. All I recall thinking in that space of time was "I should be doing this later on in life, not yet." And... "I should be marrying someone else."

"Well? What do you think, Hannah?" Grace asked nervously, freezing my thoughts.
"I'm lost for words, Grace! I mean that in a good way obviously!" I said, forcing a smile.
"Oh, thank God! You were quiet for ages..."
"Yeah, I... erm... wedding nerves or whatever you call them." I stuttered.
"Aww, bless you honey! No need to worry, I'm sure Shane is a lovely guy!"Grace gushed.
"Lovely, yeah, he's... lovely." I uttered through gritted teeth.

I grabbed Georgia's hand and held on tight. Feeling her squeeze my hand back, I rested my head on her shoulder. I gazed at our reflections in the mirror in front of us, and shut my eyes in order to find some form of peace and clarity in that moment. I did, but not for long.