Lights! Camera! Action! School? Akaashi X reader

If you and me became an us

Warning: there is things such as self harm in this chapter, if you are sensitive to it, please don't read. I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable!
I fall onto my desk as I rest my head on my forearms. Why was work so tiring? Not only that, I think I cried a little last night and I know my eyes are red and puffy. I feel... Pathetic. I didn't want to come back to school in the first place, nothing good came out of it last time and nothing good will come out of it this time, it will always contain the same result. I slowly close my eyes and I feel a small amount of darkness consume me.
"Ha! Not even your parents want you, if they don't, what makes you think that I would?"
My eyes burst open. It was just a dream, but when did I fall asleep? I look at them time and I'm a quarter way into the lesson. I abruptly stand up.
"I'm going home because I don't feel well."
I leave the classroom. As I walk through the hall, I pass many classrooms, each of them I check. I didn't know why I checked them until I saw him and I knew. He looked at me through the window, I felt tears prick the side of my eyes and I walk a little fast. I catch a cab home.
As soon as I open the door, I go to my freezer and pull out the blade that I froze in water. I sit it on the bench and let it thaw out. I always did this, by the time it was thawed, I didn't want to do it anymore. It took about an hour to thaw after all. But this time was different, I still wanted to. I needed to. The pain release that it gave, the feeling of control, I wished for that again. I ran a bath once I retrieved the blade.
Once in the bath, I pressed the blade to my skin. I slowly dragged it across and all the memories came flooding back. The bullying, the unwant, the hurt, the pain and now to top it all off, there was new memories. I thought about where I went wrong.
~flashback~
"(First name), look, mummy and daddy are going to leave you behind now. You're too much of a burden on us and you don't reach the family expectations like your brother does. We never really wanted you, so now we're leaving you."
I didn't understand what was happening. Why didn't mummy and daddy love me anymore?
I sat there for three days and two nights. The nights were freezing and I was starving. Then my manger came along and took me in. My manger took good care of me and I felt loved, that was until I went back to school. My brother had spread the news around the school about me being left by the family. Everyone bullied me except one person. He was super sweet and very kind. We were friends for two years until I confessed to him.
"Kinin-Kun, w-would you go out with me? I've liked you for a very long time!"
"Me? Go out with you? Yeah, right. As if I would do that. If your parents didn't want you, then no one would. I was just pretending to be your friend so you'd help me with my school work!"
I took me a moment to process these words but I wish that I hadn't. As the words sunk in, my heart shattered. I dropped to my knees with my face in my hands as small droplets of water caressed my cheeks before falling. It was bitter sweet, my tears were like him. He caressed me and made me trust him, when the tears fell, it was like him walking away. That was the time that I left school. After that, my heart iced over.
Now I have more memories to cry over. As the blood beaded on my skin, I dunked my arm under the water and got out. I continued to cry for the rest of the day.
The next morning wasn't as bad. I woke up refreshed having got that out of my system. I obviously wore a jumper to school despite the heat. No one really questioned it but I received compliments on how cute I looked. I continued my day like normal until I heard it. It was pretty much the same situation as before but this time a wall separated us.
"I'm sorry, it was wrong of me but I only said yes to going out with you to spite someone else."
"I-I don't mind if you use me, just please, d-don't break up with me."
"Please have a little more self respect."
I knew the voices, it was Akaashi's and his new, well ex dating partner. I continued walking after their conversation and thought about if him and I became an us, but I shook away the thought. At least he's honest with her. I don't really care what he does now, I'm really just trying to get over him.
"(Last name)" I turn at the mention of my name. "Why are you wearing a jumper in this heat?"
I blush a little. Akaashi was talking to me in a non rude way. It actually kind of seemed like he was caring? For me.
"U-uh, I just wanted to."
I knew this wasn't good, I'm trying to get over him. I went to run but he grabbed my wrist. When did he get this close? I winced a little as he grabbed my cuts.
"What are you hiding from me?"
"N-nothing"
"Then don't act so hurt when I grab your wrist."
He slowly started to pull up my sleeve. I feel the uneasiness. I have to get away or else he'll see!

I decided to do another chapter since I haven't updated in a month. I hope you enjoyed!