Dear Diary

Part 5

Wednesday

6th April 2010

Dear Diary,

Hey dairy! Yup its been a month since nanny came and now I am staying with her. A MONTH. I know its really alot but I have now gotten used to all this. Creepy nanny's fine with me until I act and do what she wants and not disturb her or something. Nowadays mommy leaves much earlier and comes late home. And dairy that's much worse than staying with creepy nanny. And dairy the other thing I am worried about is that even if its a holiday, she always have to go for a meeting or is always working at home. Well I don't have anyone to share this with except Mr. Thomas and you so I'll share it with you because mom is too busy to listen to me. But dairy I don't blame her and I keep on telling myself that she does all this because she loves me. But dairy that's even more scarier because this is what mom always told me about dad coming home late. I am really afraid what if she also leaves like daddy :( Dairy but I am sure this is going to happen ! Mommy wont ever leave me, she's my super mom and she always says she's here to protect me and she can't leave me like this.... never.

Well so yeah I wanted to tell you that yesterday I won a trophy for an art drawing I made, many other students also got. I wanted to tell mom but yesterday when creepy nanny picked me from school and brought me home, mom was working on the laptop and talking on her phone at the same time. So I went towards her and told her I wanted to show her something but she just told me to go right now and play in my room because she's busy. It really made me sad but i still obeyed and went to my room. A few minutes later mommy did come in my room and it made me really happy as I thought she came to see what I was to show her earlier. But instead of that, mommy told me she had to go for another meeting and she told me to stay with creepy nanny and she quickly kissed my forehead and then left. 

Today when I woke up mommy was already gone for her work and she made sandwich for me and right now its 8' o clock and mommy's still not home. Last night she came at 10 pm. I was sleeping at that time but when she closed the door I knew it was her. Creepy nanny's outside watching TV as usual and I am here writing this and I have to make my bed and sleep too at 8 :30pm. I wish mommy never started this job I miss the old mommy. I don't want her to go and stay out for  a whole day because of me I just want her like at that time I wanted daddy not these toys and stuff. Okay I gotta go diary :) 

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Hey again dairy! You must be wondering that I just said good night and I am back here again. I am sorry but I have to share something with you. First of all it's 35 minutes past midnight here and I know I should be sleeping right now but I have to share something with you. Mommy came just a minute ago and sat on the bed beside me but I pretended to sleep. I was sleeping on the first place but I just couldn't sleep because of the whole mommy-coming-late-and-working-alot thing. So she first sat in silence then she place one hand on my forehead and then said sorry. I don't know what she was talking about and I was confused but I had to keep still and silent. So she then again said sorry and then said that she was sorry for not being a good mother not giving me the time she should be giving. I could even hear her voice like she was crying and at that moment i just wanted to get up and hug her. But i just squeezed Mr.Swompy that i was holding, tighter. Then mommy said that she's doing all this for me and I don't know why but I felt like I wasn't effected by this because dairy I have been hearing this for a long time I just want mommy, Dairy. Only mommy and her time.  That's it. After that she stayed for few minutes all silent and the after wishing me good night and kissing my forehead she left. And I just stood up from the bed and didn't even realize that I was crying until one tear fell on the this dairy when I opened it. Dairy I keep on saying one thing and I really am going to say it again . I just want mommy not these toys or games or colors or paints or stickers nothing but mommy. I just need her time and a bit of her attention.... only. Why can't she understand that, dairy ,on her own. Ahh well dairy i feel really sleepy right now and I gotta go to school tomorrow and wake up early too before mommy leaves so at least I could see her once because during this whole conversation I couldn't see her as I was facing the opposite side. Okay I gotta go dairy! So

/ GOOD NIGHT /