It had been two days since the ting wiv Fumez and i hadnt called natalie but she had belled me about 16 times leaving bare answer messages.
I was in bed just listenin 2 some keith sweat and i hadnt seen my mum in three days, cos she came home late when i was asleep and was at work by the time i was awake. i had called college to say i was feelin sick.
I felt so sick and nasty about everything- like everything i looked at reminded me of something that made me cringe. i had bathed bare times but there was always dirt i could feel it. i had to redye my hair cos the cum had messed it up and even tho i knew i should have gone to the clinic to get tested for anyfin i jst didnt want the hassle.
I got out of bed around 2 in the afternoon and went into my kitchen to eat the roast nan had made on sunday that i hadnt eaten yet.
As the food was warming- I sent Natalie a text saying "im alright- i didnt go thru with setting them up- soz- been on ma reds and its killin me- gimmee a day and ill come see u, love u- Dee Dee"
If she knew what i had done shed hate me and Fumez said he wouldnt tell her as long as i went back there for more of the same but i culdnt do it. my body just cldnt do it, id rather give him money than go thru that agen or do anyfin else for him except go thru that.
I took out ma food, put it in a tray, went to the living room and put on some old black and white film which was on channel 4.
When i used to be sick from school- i would spend the day with my nan and whilst she was busy id watch the black and white films and imagine being in dem, and i liked the way that when they kissed the women they kissed them gently, not rough.
I started cryin and so i put my food down and remembered the kissing sounds i heard, i didnt even wanna get to finkin wht i knew it was. I got in the shower and decided i needed to go for a walk.
I showered, then put on my nude lipstick, tinted my eyebrows a light brown, put on my concealer, my eye liner and put my hair in a backward ponytail. I put on my high waisted navy jeggins, my black reeboks, a tight white vest and my boyfriend blazer.
I needed some fresh air.
I walked out of my yard and then down the mainroad and then just walked around for about half an hour. then my fone rang.
"Hello."
"Wag1 Deena- its Corey." I felt like being sick in my mouth.
"Oh hi babes- u gd."
"Yeah yeah man aint seen u in college in time- u good?".
"Yeah i'm fine."
"What u doin later on."
"I have to go to my nans house," i lied.
"Ah cos man was roasting for your pussy all night last night." I was silent and then i said, "Oh- some other time yeah?".
"Yeah yeah kl," he said.
"Alright bye," i said.
before he could say bless up i just put the fone down on his stinkin rass.
As i was walkin back home- my fone rang again.
"Hello," i said.
"Oi it's Ryan," he said.
I didnt say nuthin and den said, "Oh hi."
"Fumez wants to see u agen," he said, "right now."
he sounded so agressive and i was so shook.
"Im at my nans house- shes not feeling well, i cant leave her."
"dont chat shit sket- man can blatently hear that ur outside," i could hear other bres laughin in the background. "come here now."
