Kathy's P.O.V:
I reached over to where James lay with a trembling hand and pushed his hair out of his eyes.
The heartbeat moniter comforted me slightly, the steady sound of 'beep beep beep...' but it also seemed to be mocking me:
'Beep beep-look at what you've done- beep- loser- beep -idiot"
I buried my face in my hands and let sleep take over: restless, tireless sleep, but sleep never the less.
And when I awoke the beeping was no more.
...
Ivy's P.O.V:
Looking at Kathy in sympathy and sorrow, a sudden realisation came to mind.
Kathy had never really been in love before; sure, she had had crushes and flings and short term relationships, but James was the only one she truly talked about, ever.
I felt like I knew everything about him, from his favourite colour to his shoe size: but only because of Kathy- she turned the subject of every conversation to him. And now... well now he was gone.
She looked shattered, she sat slumped on my bed, clutching her chest with her eyes scrunched shut: her head buried in her laps. I had tried to comfort her, but to no advail, as she continued looking like a lost puppy, a stray who had nowhere to go any more.
I sighed, feeling my stomache drop in sadness and then regret overwhelmed my senses. It was my fault.
If I hadn't told her he was a player, a no good cheater, she wouldn't have hesitated, wouldn't have had time for Zoe to fall for her: Zoe wouldn't have killed James for Kathy.
Atleast Zoe was gone now: locked away in jail. I wanted them to put it in asylum: but apparently lost animals and their young, who were unable to fend for themselves, deserved to be killed a lot more than a physcopathic murderer who didn't even regret anything.
If not an asylum, couldn't they atleast use her as a test subject? I mean, she could survive (hopefully not) and then she could be reused instead of animals.
I detested humans.
Anyway, back to the point: I was thoroughly dissapointed and ashamed that she only went to prison. That bitch.
I saw kathy shake and tears started streaming down her face. She shivered uncontrollably: her teeth chattered, her eyes watered- she was a mess.
I narrowed my eyes in worry and ran to her side, hugging her and trying to be soothing: safe to say i'm not the best at that.
And it didn't help one bit.
...
Kathy's P.O.V:
I sat hugging my knees infront of an anime, of which I couldn't recall the name. But then again, what was there to recall?
How could this happen to me?
Did I do something wrong?
What did I do to deserve feeling like feeling itself had been ripped out, leaving only pain, regret and a complete and utter disability to talk or smile or even breathe properly?
Every breath I took felt like a stab to my already shredded heart.
Nothing seemed worthwhile: I turned the anime off and made my way slowly to the kitchen.
Why was I even alive.
Deep breath.
There must be a good thing in all this.
There isn't.
Look, calm down and listen: are you a quitter Kathy? Because I don't think so.
I...
I collapsed onto the kitchen floor, fetus position, and grabbed a fairly sharp knife as I slid it silently across my skin, feeling at once shocked and relieved that I was causing myself pain.
Pain which I deserved.
Pain that I needed.
I am.
