Lessons Learned

Lesson #2

I'm not totally sure how or why I ended up in the elementary school playground, it's not as if I meant to go there. I don't think I meant to go anywhere, I just wanted to go somewhere. I couldn't stand being in that apartment with that tension. They say for most kids the reality of their parents divorce doesn't hit until it's actually occurred, for me, I knew it. In that moment of time, I knew my parents were through and nothing in this world could fix what my Mom had done.  The motion of the swing caused my feet to drag across the pebbles, it was the only sound I really focused on. The cars and constant rhythm of the city faded to black as I pumped my legs higher and higher. The lights poured down onto the small playground, preventing me from being swallowed within the dark night.

I wasn't overly concerned about the time, it had to be past 10 by now, but if my parents wanted me home they'd have called. If they remembered or even realized I was gone that is. I must've been there for a few hours now, it had still been daylight when I took my seat oblivious to the world. What had brought me to this place? Perhaps it was the fact that this was the last place I had been happy as myself. No one really cared about clothing in elementary school. It was all about who had the most sugary snacks and newest toys. There was no such thing as sex or drugs, just a constant need to dig deeper in the sand box then the other kids ever had.

In the distance I could her a car crawling to a stop, probably waiting to turn into the nearby liquor store or fast food joint. Ignoring it, I returned to wallowing in my pathetic-ness. It wasn't until I was blinded by the glare of headlights did I figure out it was pulling into the school parking lot across from where I was. A slight jolt of fear ran through me. This wasn't a car I had ever seen before, and I couldn't see the driver because of the lights shining into my eyes. Parking, the headlights remained focused on me as the door opened, and promptly slammed shut. Moments after, a familiar voice rang out,

"Alice?"

What. The. Hell! What was he doing? How had he even known I was here? Did my parents send him or did he come of his own free will? It couldn't have been my parents, this wasn't the first time I'd gone and disappeared on them. They would have assumed I went to a friends house, not sent a search and rescue party. They never did before.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned, putting a voice to my thoughts. Still flying through the air as fast as I could. I heard him step off the pavement and onto the grass, reaching the gravel beneath the swingset in just a few short steps. Averting my eyes from the car, I could see him sit down on the empty blue plastic coated swing beside me.

"Your parents asked me to help find you." He replied, slowly beginning his own ascent into the sky. I made a face and retorted quickly,

"Do my parents even know you?" He let out a chuckle, still attempting to reach the height I was at.

"Actually, they asked everyone on the floor. They really care about you, ya know?" He retorted, I could almost sense a stupid smile on his face.

"Well, you found me. You can leave now." I said, I was becoming more and more frustrated. Couldn't he see I wanted to be alone? I could hear the sudden crackle of chains and crush of gravel as he leaped from his swing, landing a few feet away.

"You really should be getting home." He stated, patting dirt off his pant legs. I scowled, who was he to tell me what to do? In school he had full right to boss me around, but not here, no way.  I forced myself to stop, small rocks hopping into my flip-flops as my feet dragged across the ground.

"Fuck no."

"Please Alice, your parents are worried." I could no longer see his face, but his voice actually sounded sincere. I snorted, letting out a sarcastic laugh.

"Just tell them I went to a friends house or something. They'll be fine with that." Couldn't he just let me be? I didn't want to go home, not now, not for a long time. Why was he pushing this?

"Only if you actually go to a friends house. Tell me where they live, I'll drop you off there." He urged, offering me a way out of going straight home.

"No!" I yelled, standing up. I didn't want to go to a friends house and I most definitely didn't want to go home. Weren't teachers supposed to respect their students decisions? This guy was an idiot!

"Your parents really are worried, and if you refuse to go back because of your mother I can understand that! My own parents had a divorce because my Dad cheated." He argued. That wasn't what this was about, I could care less about my Mother's whorish ways. It's not like it was new, I always had a feeling she'd been screwing around long before this.

"Fuck that shit." I claimed, "I'm gonna go home eventually. Just...not right now, okay?" Maybe it was time to give in. I couldn't stay here all night, it was supposed to rain around midnight and the chill from the wind was making me shiver. I really should have grabbed a sweater on my way out the door.

"But you will go home?" He asked.

"Yeah," I replied, "I'll go home."

The next month or so was a flurry for me. Dad had packed up and moved out, finding himself a smaller apartment in a different neighbourhood. My parents had begun filing for divorce, and I began to adjust to not seeing him everyday at home. I also began to separate myself from my friends, spending more time alone in my thoughts then with them in the city. Mr.River became my solace outside of school. He was into all these cool things like old video games and classic black and white movies. I also got to learn his first name, Warren. It's quite a pretty name, isn't it?

"Alice~." Whined Brianna from her spot on the flawless white couch seated in the middle of her living room.

"Wh~at?" I whined back, slinging my legs over the couches arm. Watching her flip through channel after channel of garbage.

"There's nothing on TV~." She replied, a pout on her red painted lips. Finally settling on Much Music before jumping up and turning to me. "Did you hear?" I recognized the tone of her voice, she only took it when she had really good gossip to share. I lifted my head to look at her, a ditzy smile on both our faces.

"Hear what Bri?" I asked, almost begging her to divulge more information.

"Tony's parents are getting a divorce!" She waved her arms frantically, adding emphasis to every word that spewed from her mouth. "His Dad pretty much hates his Mom. Such a scandal am I right?" This is why I didn't tell anyone from my school about my own parental issues. It'd turn into a huge scandal and my popularity would plummet to rock bottom. I couldn't and wouldn't risk that. I would not become the girl who was mocked mercilessly everyday, constantly called names like "loser/freak/weirdo..etc.". I would stay on top, I couldn't bare it if I fell. Falling back into my old position, I let out a groan.

"Anything better in the daily gossip column?" I asked. Her brown eyes lit up, and bore into my own green ones. This next piece was about me, I could feel it radiating off her.

"Well, everyone is simply dying to know! What's going on with you and Andrew?" She asked, digging for an answer. I felt my cheeks heat up. Andrew was my newest boyfriend, captain of the Middle School Basketball team. It wasn't anything serious or even that big, but to everyone else it was a great accomplishment. If only it was. It was nothing more than a 'for show' relationship. I honestly didn't care about him, and he didn't care that much about me. Quite the healthy relationship we had, isn't it? It wasn't as if most 'popular couples' weren't like this. There is no such thing as a perfect couple, but we try our best to pass on the idea that there is and that we have it.

"Nothing serious," I answered, "I think I'm gonna dump him next week anyway." It was true, I saw no reason to stay with him, absolutely none.

"Why would you? He is such a cutie!" announced Brianna, jumping up and down in her spot. I knew she would try to snatch him up the second I let him go, she always did it with my ex-boyfriends. Poor girl couldn't get anything better than others sloppy seconds.

I shrugged in response, and took a sip of my pepsi.

"Just 'cause."