Mother, Why?

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My mom loves my dad very much. For her my dad is like the whole world to her and her family. I am the oldest child in our family and my name is Joshua. Finally, my younger sister Emily. Our mom loves us so much so is dad. My dad has this illness where he has to drink this medicine whether he feels pain or else he will be in critical condition or die. We always have picnic and during summer break we go to other countries for vacation. "We were so happy, why did this happen? Why?". We just got back from Korea! It was fun being there and having the experience of what it's like to travel there. On our way home we went to Freudy Foxbear's Pizzeria and ate pizza because it's my sisters favorite. While we are eating I saw a medicine pack in my mom's bag and when I got it I wondered what is this for? I realized that it is for dad's illness but at the moment when I was about to put it back my mom saw me and grabbed my hand tight. What she didn't know is that the lid of the container is slightly opened. She held my hand so tight that I lost grip and dropped the container. When the container of dad's medicine dropped the contents immediately spilled. My mom was so mad at me but while my mom was scolding me my dad suddenly felt pain. "It was that very moment when he needed that medicine but I spilled it. Why did this happen?" My dad was in a painful situation and the medicine is not available because I spilled it on the floor. My dad passed out so he was sent to the hospital. While on the hospital my mom said to me that "If anything happens to your dad. I-If anything..." then she starts crying. After a few minutes the doctor came out and said "I'm afraid to say this to you but your father just passed away". Right after I heard that I was stoned in my seat asking myself "Is this reality? Am I dreaming?" then I pinched myself and it hurt me. Right after I pinched myself it came on me and I cried so bad. My mom was so mad at me she was shivering in anger. My sister was crying so bad as well.

Years have passed and that memory is still fresh in my mind. My mom calls me "you". One time I was sleeping and suddenly I got woken up by my sister Emily. She said "Big brother! Wake up, mom is coming up here with the stick!". Right after my sister said that I immediately woke up and got ready for what's in store for me. She was here and right after she entered the room she said "Get up you stupid fool." what she said hurt me but it didn't matter anymore because all these years I've been hearing this from her. "I had always loved my mother... But she'd always blamed me for my father's death... So now, I'm doing everything to gain back her love... Even if it meant killing myself...". She'd make me clean the whole house and if she sees one spot I will sleep with the dog tonight. "It got to the point where, I was trying so hard that I would starve for days... Was I trying hard enough? Mother didn't think so. What was I doing wrong?". I was really hungry and when I came to her and asked for something to eat she would immediately send me back to cleaning the whole house. She would say "Get out of my face!". So I walked up to my sister's room. While I was in my sister's room I thought "Mother.. What was I doing wrong? Why don't you love me anymore? Mother.. I'm sorry..." My sister saw me inside her room and she brought me some food. I thanked her but I didn't smile.. Right after that she asked me "Brother.. Why don't you ever smile?" her question also made me question myself but I answered with "Why smile if you're never happy?" she asked "...You're never happy, brother?" I was like "Should I be?" she replied with "Yeah, because I love you big brother". What she said made my day but that night, I forgot to clean one of the rooms, mom beat me until I couldn't stand up. I begged for her pardon but she said "I'm sorry won't bring your father back! I'm sorry wont stop my life from being miserable are you that happy now?! WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!" then I said "... I wan't you to love again, mother.." Right after I said that she came to her senses she knew that she was being loved by me and the fact that I don't want her to hate me anymore.. "I love you mother... I don't want you to hate me anymore.. I'm sorry..." with my last sigh of breath I told her "I'm sorry mother.." My sister immediately came to me and told me to wake up but that will be impossible now... My mom was like "What have I done? I'm sorry Joshua.. I love you..".

"Mother... Do you love me now? Have I made up for everything I've done? Mother... Why couldn't you see that... I loved you all along? Mother, Why?"

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