When I was 8 years old I was molested. I was scared and alone, and I didn't have anyone to talk to.
My mom was on drugs and my dad was never around. My siblings were too busy for me.being the youngest you would think you got the most attention but it wasn't like that..
Mom ain't care about us..as long as we were out of the way and wasn't messing with her money We were the best kids in her eyes
I felt as though it was all my fault that this awful thing happened to me. I kept my mouth closed and until now, Nobody knows what made me this way. I had very low self esteem, and I didn't care what happened to me. Instead of running away from men, I ran to them.
For a year straight I was having sex with random guys ..Anyone who called me Cute I would automatically think they liked me ..hell..loved me and I'd lay down with them..I was only 12 having sex with grown men My mom approved.. As long as she was getting money she wanted me to keep at it..but I was hurting myself..I was mentally hurting.. Physically and emotionally..
Once I turned 13 it's like I became Someone's slave! mom kicked me out once I told her I wasn't doing it anymore. I was on my own..at 13 Tryna make shit happen on my own..And these grown men ain't gone give you no space to sleep for free..and if you ain't have money then you knew what that ment .
But I was tired of living like that.. So I was homeless for 3 months.. Them homeless shelters wasn't no joke.. First come first served
I wasn't always lucky.. But Once they found out my mom Kicked me out they Put me ima foster home.. Wasn't no better there.. The dad beat me for hours a day.. I was forced to sleep in the back yard in their little Shed .I ain't eat everyday..I was lucky enough to eat 3 times a week..
I finally Had enough of it and ran away..shit..they ain't cared bout me.. They wanted the $100 checks.. They broke asses...
At 14 my mom let me back in with em.. My siblings still ain't care from there on I Kept trying to kill myself..all the ways you would use to commit suicide..
Finally I was Diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder.. They kept me. In the white room for 3 months then they sent me to live with my dad..once I moved in with him it's like my life became so much better
I mean..I talk to him any typa way because I don't think he deserves My Respect.. Where was he when I was Fucking just to have some where to lay my head..or when I was Stealing from stores just to have Something to eat....this shit ain't fair at all!!
And still! To this Day
Saturday, March 26th 2016.
Nobody** knows my story.. They go bye what they see...I ain't gay..but you'd think that after what I've been through Id be gay!..Nah B..ima just For ever have low self esteem and NEVER trust no nigga..cuz at the end of the day..they all want the same thing..and it ain't love
------ Aa'niyah Elise Williams
