I've always admired love. Whether it's family wise or romantic, even though I don't always like lovey-dovey stuff. But I can't deny that I do read and watch romantic stuff...and yes I'm guilty but one of my favorite movie is Titanic...it's just too cute and perfect...I mean both of the characters are goals! As long as I remember my family also valued love..and they were really careful about it. Which is why I grew up with my mom saying that "don't fall in love in your teenage years...most of the time it turns out to be a sickening love". Or "when you are mature enough then search for love". And no matter what; I knew I will always go with these values.
However I never realized that you don't fall in love with a choice. In fact you don't even know who you will fall for. Which is what I realized when I first fell in love with a guy who I know I have no chance with. He never tried too hard for me to fall for him. His presence was enough...and no matter what he stands for I never see his flaws. I loved him long enough...it came to the point where everyone who knew about this wanted me to confess.
Once I did wanted to confess...I was on that moment but then I realized something that many people doesn't take into consideration. The fact that there is a difference confessing to someone who has no clue that you love them...then confessing to the person who knows you love them and then they do everything to hide it from you. Believe it or not I did wanted to tell my feelings and at some point I know I have to. However...he is not that type of a guy...he always tries to run away from it....hide it. He looses his mind when he recognize someone loves him.
But I do want to tell him before we separate...that no matter what happens..and where life takes us...we might not see each other after high school...time is a devil and you don't know what will happen..but I do want him to know that he is one of my favorite human beings...and not many people are gifted with that personality of him. That no matter what people tell him...he should know his value...because sometimes he lacks that. And I don't regret loving him..because I know I loved a pure hearted person...I didn't fall for a jerk...and I'm thankful for everything he done for me...
I don't blame him for anything...because no matter what happens...even when I know I don't love him the same way..but when our eyes meet...I fall right back in that same old love...and I can't deny that I will always love him...not as much as I used to do...but there will be a part of me that will forever look for his face...just like he takes my hand sometimes and comforts me that everything will be okey; and I shouldn't stress too much about my future.....
