Dead or Alive

Chapter 3: I am right here (2)

I am dead.

I think as I walk through the streets of Ikebukuro. I could pass through people as if they were mist, and they wouldn't even feel it. Of course, I would be more like the mist here, though. Ghosts are like mist, right? Always flowing around and white and all. Though, I don't look like that at all. I look exactly like myself. Tall, blonde and with the same apathetic expression I usually wore. Heck, I still wore a bartender's outfit.

I wasn't sure what caused my death, but I could ask Celty, right? I mean, she doesn't sense stuff the same way we do. Using that 'shadow' of her's and all. Plus, she's supposed to be a fairy or something, right? She could see me. She should see me. Yes. that's right. With my mind made up I start walking towards Shinra's.

On my way, I spot Kadota's gang. I am just about to walk past them when I hear Kadota say '-uo shouldn't have died.' I stop then, and turn around to listen to the rest of the conversation.

'Yeah.' That guy with a blue hoodie that always hangs around with Walker said. 'I wonder what'll happen now that he's dead. There were a lot of people that feared him, you know?'

'How weird to have feared him. He's so nice!' That girl in the black dress exclaimed, to which Kadota nodded and went 'Mhm.'

'You know, it was probably Izaya's fault.' That was the other guy that drove that van of theirs.

At the very mention of the flea's name, my blood begins to boil. Yeah, it probably was his fault. Whenever is it not?!

'Togusa!' Kadota exclaims, all three head turned towards that Togusa guy.

'What? I'm probably not even wrong, you know?!' The guy throws up his hands, palms out, in defense. 'That guy always wanted him dead! Plus, isn't it weird that he died-'

A weird swirling motion attacks me, and I nearly fall down due to the dizziness. I could still feel the earth spinning when I heard him say 'he had probably planned it all, for all we know!'

I hear Kadota counteract by saying 'and then go into a-' And the same annoying-ass feeling engulfs me.

Before I know it, the four have walked far enough for me to not be able to listen to their conversation, but I don't follow them. I had no wish to listen about Izaya's plotting and planning. I continue my walk to Shinra's place. Celty'll get me fixed, and then I can beat the hell out of the flea as much as I want.

But, on my way, I encounter a duo that makes me stop in my tracks. Tom-senpai and Varona. I think as I head over to them, knowing they couldn't see me, but wanting to see them anyway. On my way towards them, I find myself wondering about how they must've taken my death. Tom may be cursing me for being so reckless, and I know Varona's strong, but I wonder what she thinks, too.

Though, after about fifteen minutes after reaching them, and there still being no sign of a conversation between them, I'm about to leave, when Tom-senpai says 'I still can't believe Shizuo's dead...' I turn my head towards Varona to see what her reply would be.

'Shizuo-senpai, indeed, is dead, Tom-senpai. Shall I remind you that we, ourselves, saw his dead body in the hospital?' My nearly flinch at how blunt she was being with my death, but, I guess, that's Varona for you. Whether she did miss me or not, that was her personality.

'You don't have to put it so bluntly... Plus, he wasn't dead then. Technically he was still breathing.' Tom-senpai mutters.

'True. But, you received that call, didn't you? You heard what they said. He is dead. There is nothing that can be done now. Human mortality is absolute.' I could swear that, beneath that robotic voice of her's, there was a certain softness that had developed.