Sinking

1

Quicksand

JOAQUIN: "Okay." (Turns on camera, sitting in chair behind it) "We're all set I think."

VINCE: "Very professional," (motions to camera)  "with the tripod being held up by books and all."

JOAQUIN: "I am a struggling college student, those books have to be used someway."

VINCE: (muttering) "Struggling is an understatement."

JOAQUIN: (shaking his head distractedly) "We're supposed to be talking about you, not my financial situation."

VINCE: "I'm using you're financial situation as a defense mechanism. I don't want to talk about me."

JOAQUIN: "Say your name, age, and biggest fear."

VINCE: (grimacing) "This sounds like the start of a very bad porno."

JOAQUIN: "Vince!"

VINCE: "Yeah, yeah. Name, age and biggest fear." (Stares into camera) "My name is Vincent Vega, I'm 21 years old, and I am afraid of the boogeyman man."

JOAQUIN: (threatening) "Vince I swear to-"

VINCE: "Fine, fine!" (Sinking into the chair) "I'm afraid of quick sand."

JOAQUIN: "Why?"

VINCE: (shrugs) "The more you fight, the more you sink. Seems a bit oxymoronic to me."

JOAQUIN: (hesitating)

VINCE: "Go ahead." (Sighs) "I'll be fine."

JOAQUIN: (clears his throats and fumbles with the paper in his hands) "Was Cole Abernathy like quick sand?"

VINCE: (folds his hands on his lap before unfolding them and smiling) "Jumping right in aren't we Joaquin?"

JOAQUIN: (shaking his head) "We can stop at anytime you want. If you don't want to talk about him, I'm not gonna force you."

VINCE: (takes a deep breath) "No, no. It's fine. I'm fine." (Raises his eyebrows suggestively) "Let's get into it."
———-
I never came out to my parents.

I've long since regretted it after leaving for college yet still I can't bring myself to pick up the phone and tell them that their only son is one of the nightmares they choose to be ignorant to.

Let me tell you, you've never met hard core Catholics until you met Mr. and Mrs. Vega, the possible embodiments of Jesus Christ and mother Mary themselves. I can't even count how many times I was dragged to church as a kid. Staying thirty minutes over because mom needed to talk to the First Lady about the word, and going home to eat some big family dinner mom had on the stove all morning.

I always had some disdain for church, but I didn't hate it. At least not until I found out I liked boys too.

Now I wasn't so unfortunate to be put through some torturous conversion camp, or even cursed at by the pastor trying to persuade me that loving a woman was the only way to love. But I was silenced.

When I was thirteen, I remember staying after church and listening to my mom talk to the First Lady about a boy and his mother leaving the congregation. While also being a good place to pray, church was a good place to gossip and all the women went home to their husbands and told them the news as well until there were side eyes and slick comments being thrown left and right.

"I heard that her husband's been sleeping around." My mom speculated. "She's too embarrassed to even show her face anymore. Never comes for bible study on Wednesday's either."

The First Lady shook her head. "Oh no, I heard this directly from her. Her little boy got caught kissing another boy at school. He got a call home and had to tell her himself."

"Dios mío." My mom tsked. The First Lady nodded.

"Right when they got home he told her he wanted to be gay and his dad went crazy. Even pulled him out of school."

My mom shook her head. To this day I'm not sure if she knew I was standing there. "I don't know what I would do if my Vince told me that. There's no way his dad would accept it, so how would I be able to?"

I don't know if she did, but I thought I saw the First Lady look at me really quickly, before looking back to my mom. "Teenagers have phases. It will pass and soon he'll walk with god again. I'll pray for him."

The irony is that that boy was the one who made me realize I was bisexual. He'd been my first kiss at a church lock-in and although we never talked about it, we somehow ended up in the bathroom at the same time every Sunday.

When I dated Cole I hadn't came out to my parents, leaving them to wonder why I was the permanent resident of this strange boy's attention. Even then, I told them nothing. Because why not leave well enough alone.

And now, watching Coles face plastered across every news station and website, I regretted not telling my mom right there in that church.

Not only was I hiding from the boy I thought I loved, I was instinctively hiding from my parents too.

And I was terrified.