Deceptions (Evie Cortez Book 1)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

After getting dressed and having some breakfast I thought about going to work except there was the small problem of knowing whether I even had a job to go back to. There was a few ways a meeting could go with Michael right now and none of them were appealing. He was pissed off I lied to him and I couldn’t blame him for that either. I did however wish he could understand my point of view and see I was just too scared to tell him everything about a past I wanted to forget. It was never a question if I loved him or not.

Deep down I just didn’t want to have my heart broken again but sitting at home talking to myself wasn’t going to give me any answers. I convinced myself to leave the house and go have the long over due conversation with Michael.

 Outside I looked down the street and saw Caleb’s car in the driveway. With time the alpha would find a way to make peace with his choices. There was nothing I could do for him anymore.

At the Winston mansion my heart was lodged in my throat. Several times on the way to Michael’s office I thought about turning around and calling him on the phone instead.  

Michael was the man I most and least wanted to see everyday. There were times I wanted to rush and tell him something and other times I’d fear his reaction. He was a master vampire who once thought he fell in love with a human girl. I wasn’t too sure he’d accept that I was never that human girl. Lies and betrayal never sat well with anyone, least of all vampires.

Michael was standing behind his desk. “Cat naps again?” he looked up away from some paperwork at the sound of my voice.

His green eyes were hard set taking in the different cuts and bruises still not healed on my face. “You look lovely.”

I couldn’t help it and grinned. I was a mess and didn’t bother much to hide it this morning when I got ready. “It comes naturally. Let’s skip the small talk and I’ll just spit it out. I’m going to tell you everything and maybe you’ll understand and maybe you won’t but at least there won’t be anymore secrets.” If there was anyone that should know my truth it was him after everything we shared. “I was born into a coven that mixed magic and the ability to shapeshift.” I told him about the history between the witch and the skinwalker. I told him about the laws of the coven and the cruel ways we were threatened to follow those laws. “I couldn’t do it anymore and I ran. I thought I was being a coward but I finally realized it took a lot more guts to run from something that much bigger than me. I would’ve and could still be killed if they ever found out I told someone. When I met you I wanted to forget that life and for a long time it stopped existing. I never thought I’d ever be part of it again.”

Michael was silent; his eyes were focused on the files on the desk. “Shapeshift? You can turn into them?” it wasn’t until right then and there I realized he didn’t know about that part. He sounded hurt.

“Yes. I inherited the wolf and the coyote along with heavy magical powers. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want it to be part of our life. I can’t run from it anymore and I hope you can understand it wasn’t because of you I lied but because of me. Also do I still have a job?” I forced myself not to cry, I didn’t want to succumb to the welling emotions I had been denying for awhile now.

Michael chuckled. “You’ll always have a job.” He finally looked up from the messy desk with his serious eyes. “This changes everything.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s right, you belong with them. You never fit this life Evie and now I understand why.” He said every word as if it was painful to drag out.

“Who’s right?” I didn’t like where the conversation was going because I understood what he meant. I’d never fit the mold of a vampire, I could never fully be part of his life.

 “Caleb.” He said the alpha’s name with a sigh and walked around the desk to pace. He hid his emotions well but I was always able to read him, he was furious a lot when I was around these days.

“What did he say to you?” my consideration for the other man was quickly fading, Caleb had no right to tell Michael anything about me. “I don’t belong with anyone, I live my life and make my own choices. That’s the whole reason I left the coven in the first place and Caleb won’t make me into his little soldier.”

“What do you call what just happened?”

“I was helping Jamie!” I was getting tired of trying to explain that. “If anything I called the shots. I have never submitted to him. Even before all of this you wanted to believe something was happening between me and Caleb when that’s never been the case. Can’t you see that I love you?” the words flew out of my mouth before I could realize where I had taken us.

“Evie, don’t—”

“I know because it won’t change anything but damn it, don’t you see if I love you I’m nowhere near ready to think about another man let alone anything else? You always let your jealously get in the way.” I let out a long sigh. “I didn’t come here to talk about this.” I wiped my hands over my tear soaked cheeks and turned to the door. I should’ve stayed in bed and avoided this emotional shit storm.

Michael made it to the door before me and blocked the way out. “I don’t know what you want, Evie.”

“You know damn well what I want.” I wouldn’t say the words and make the tension between us worse but what I wanted was him and to have our life together back. “Right now I want you to accept or at least understand my point of view.” I knew when to stop beating a dead horse and when it was time to get out of here. “I’ll cover today’s night shift and start my regular shift tomorrow.” I pushed past him and left the mansion. I put a few miles between us before pulling over and letting out my tears and what they represented. I couldn’t hold them in any longer.

I heard getting over your first love was hard but this was down right hell. I would love to wake up one day and be able to accept Michael as a memory and not hope for a future. It wasn’t working out that way though. Thinking logically distance would probably help, I needed to find a new job and manage to go a few days without thinking about him.

I thought about all the times Michael and I were alone without a care in the world. Many of those times I thought about telling him the truth.  After he had bitten me and the virus didn’t take he blamed himself, I had come close to telling him then too that I wasn’t human. Now he knew everything and he still wasn’t willing to give us another chance.

I needed to stop fighting for the impossible.