Impossible Year // Brendon Urie [ON HOLD]

2

//BRENDON//

I sat in my studio, looking at old photos with my once one and only. Sophie. Though she was long gone and I had remarried a couple years ago, I still missed her. There were countless tear stains on each page, each one from a different day and I was currently adding to the collection.

Sarah, my present day wife, was understanding about it that I still grieve. She could never understand how much I appreciate it. She was one of the few people I had left.

After Sophie's death, I became very hard to work with. I was stubborn and cranky. I got mad at every little thing. I also developed an alcohol problem.

My band left me because of that. Well most of them. I still had Spencer. He's gone now too but I am still on good terms with him. Actually, there's nobody really in the band but me.

I have to write an entire album by myself. I have most of it done but I feel like it needs something else. Probably a more down beat song considering the rest of it is pretty up beat.

I close the photo book and tuck it in a space under my desk where I always put it and drag myself out of the room. I go into the living room straight to the most comfortable spot to me. The piano stool.

I started playing a spontaneous rhythm with my fingers dancing over the chords as they came to me. I start to hum along to it, keeping the tempo sort of slow.

I pull my hands off of the keys and pull a piece of paper I kept hiding behind some sheet music on the stand. It has a few lyrics that I had written a while back. After Sophie's passing.

There's no sunshine
this impossible year.
Only black days and sky grey
And clouds full of fear

I think it's its finally time I put these to use and give them the attention I always try to give them.

I go back to the chords I was playing previous that sounded so bittersweet to me and sing the lyrics in a low voice.

I kneeled to the ground on one knee and pulled out the little velvet box in my suit jacket.

"My sweet Sophie. I always tell you that I want to marry you someday. I don't know how much you actually believed it but maybe this will help you wrap your head around it. You are the sunshine that lights up even every rainy day. You seem to make every doubt and fear go away. You make me see no clouds or grey skies. Not only for me. You are a gem of this world and I want to share your incredible optimism to the world, but I need to make sure they don't take all of you when I do share you."

I opened the box and watched her run her hands through her short black hair, letting tears loose at the sight of the diamond ring.

"So to make sure that nobody steals you, will you do me the honor and marry me?"

I sigh at the thought of where those lyrics came from but continued to add to them.