DALCA

chapter ONE

I am gleam. I seek obtainment. I carve paths into lives. I mold minds like clay. I am egocentric. I do not let you cope without me and I am not in your possession. I can stick with you like the flesh does to the bones and I can abscond like fresh air. If you look for me, keep me and spread me with tenderness, I will pin to your soul and make it a home. A home I will never leave. I will stay there, even when a home does not have its solid walls anymore. I will still be right where I was placed when you first made me yours, for that is when I became your possession, a part of you. I am the gleam in you.

''I've told you before, lend me the files and I'll help you get started. You can't spend every evening consulting your own self about what to do. Stop being stubborn, it's not easy, you can't just barge into an era of constant intelectual stress and expect to own every spectre and level of knowledge there is. Have you always been this adamant?''

-''Save yourself some saliva, you'll need it for your lecture. Yes, I have always had a mind of my own and please, do stop romanticising the pure passive aggressive and undemocratic position that is stacking piles upon piles of paper with immensly intriguing content filled with criminal enigmas (that I'm of course not allowed to look at nor have second thoughts about).'' I immediately subconciously hissed back at my supervisor, who was, not to mention only three years older yet far more qualified then I am. But somehow, a lot less curious, passionate and inquisitive about the work that he does, that I know I would've been if I haven't been stuck with a more so to say physically demanding job, that is carrying around crime reports from office to office. And the biggest agony of it all, was that a peek at them could put my position to the vacant list.

''Can't you just be content you have a job? AND an apartment? Most people your age are still pissing their parents off by adding digits to their grocery shopping bill and keeping them from enjoying some of their very first dates after kids.'' Said Brice, the supervisor, running his fingers over his dark brown beard that's merged with his mustache.

I gave him a seemingly complying look. My focus was moved to the window, admiring the serene outsides of Regina – the tree branches were glazed in multi colored leaves and the road was complimented with lights of which the lighting was so warm it made you almost sleepy. I could see a passerby's jeep bump against the wooden plank. The car was heading up to our headquarters, which meant more work for me. The driver visibly struggled crossing the roots of jack pine trees and it made me giggle. My loud thoughts were interrupted by an even louder voice that wasn't immediately recognisable to me.

''Howdy lumberjack, ready for a round?'' I recognised the chief calling Brice, as expected for a periodically repeating round of drinks that was almost a tradition for Friday nights.

-''I most certainly am, chief Barnes. Just let me finish some work, I'll be with you in a moment.'' Brice turned to me after Barnes decided to potter out of the office and have a tour of the headquarters and his employees. He sat on the wooden table and turned to me with one eyebrow raised, saying: ''Arizona if you wanna come I'd be more than pleased to take you but I'm kinda skittish to ask since I know you'd probably much rather jam out to CCR alone in the office right now.''

-''Overall I'd say you know me pretty well. Go have a groovy time, Brice.'' I said with a hint of happiness creeping into my expression.

Brice gave me a wave and marched to fetch Barnes somewhere in the building. I sat in the office on a wooden ottoman, listening to their footsteps remoting further towards the patio. I could then hear the old rusty jeep take three attempts to start and then they drove away. I slowly stood up and polished my now slightly creased blouse over my jeans and tried not to make any noise with my boots. I was slowly placing one foot in front of the other, trying not to breathe in and breathe out too rapidly. Once I got to the doorway I quickly peeked down the hallway to see if any of my co-workers were having a Friday night vivaciously ruined by interfering work with their leisure. Much to my surprise and pleasure, no one decided to do so that night.