when she was little, she liked red.
red shirts, red food, red cars.
when she grew up she wanted to have clifford as her pet and a prince with a puff of red hair.
after she died, i wondered what happened was really there.
or was it just melodramatic worrying
what if it wasn't that she hated herself?
what if it wasn't that her mother scared the love from her heart with her harsh words-
and her father slapped the warmth from her eyes?
maybe she just wanted to see her favorite color-
the red against her body-
maybe she wanted to know that there was something there in her that wasn't disgusting
that she could find something to love inside her own body
maybe, just maybe-
she slit her wrists with an eager smile like she used to on christmas
waiting to see that crimson color that warmed her cold heart
maybe she was just missing red
and herself.
