Until We Fly

Chapter 20: By Candlelight

"So do you have any idea where he lives?"

"Well, he doesn't exactly live anywhere."
Jake shrugged, pulling out a beer.
Okay, it was confirmed.
That boy was an alcoholic.

"What about that place he left me and Köleil?"

"One of the many places he takes his victims. Do you not want to talk about your parents now? We have a good chance."

"They're not important right now!"

"Not im...what the hell's wrong with you?! It's your family!"

"Not anymore."

"Of course they are! James are you...what's wrong with you?!"

"You said it yourself! There's no point!"

"That doesn't mean you can just...do you really not care?"

"It's not that I don't care. It's the fact that I can accept the things I can't change. I've lost my old life, I have to fight forever, my sisters dead, my family's gone, what do you want from me?! I can't cry and break down over every single damn little bad thing that happens! I never got on with them anyway!"

"...James..."

"And what's it to you? It's my family, not yours! Go cry about your own and just leave me to get over it all in my own way!"

That conversation definitely went straight downhill. I didn't hear what else Jake said since I'd stomped out of the room at that point.
I sat in my own bedroom, thinking silently.
Though it didn't take long for me to feel like jerk.

He was right.
I should be upset, I should be crying. That would be a normal reaction.
So why wasn't I?
Was that normal?
To lose your whole life and just...not even care?

I rolled up my sleeve, checking the infection.
It had spread a little more, reaching halfway over my shoulder now.

Nim was supposed to check it out soon. Apparently she'd know more.
Except the whole broken crystal, immortality shattering thing had distracted her.

Deciding to talk to Nim later, I went off to find Köleil.
She was sat on the couch, watching some sort of gameshow on TV. Even though it didn't seem she understood any of what was going on.

"Hey, Kö."
I smiled, sitting down on the other side of the couch.

"Hello, James."

"Are you alright?"

"...I don't know..."

"What do you mean?"

"I just...feel something. And I don't know what it is. And I don't like it."
She didn't look or sound like her usual self, staring at the TV with an abnormally serious expression.
Abnormal for her, I mean.

"You're probably just worried about Nim. It's okay, she'll be fine."

"It is not that. It is something else."

"Then...what?"

She moved her stare down, interlocking her own fingers as she sat thoughtfully.

"...do you...really not care?"

"Huh?"

"Jake told me what you said...and you are wrong. You are very, very wrong."

"...about my...parents?"

"If I was gone forever, would you care?"

"What? I-I just-"

"Would you care?"
She stared at me sternly, the seriousness in her eyes trapping me where I was.