What the Shrek (AU)

Pokemon AU

Playing Pokemon

Professor asks which starter

I said "I choose Shrek"

Professor shakes his head and calls me a faggot

I cry and tell him to fuck himself

He kicks me out and gives me Pikachu

Later that night I cry and sacrifice Pikachu to my dearest love, Shrek

I say, "What the Shrek professor"

I lay out my bed roll and start crying

A wild Pokemon appears

It's Shrek

I toss my Pokeball. It's all I have.

I know that if I have faith, I can catch him.

Three wobbles. A click. It's all ogre now.

Now I can start my Shrekspedition

I beat all the gym leaders and take their badges

I now face the Pokemon Master, Gary.

He calls me a cunt

Shrek says, "That's just your oponion."

Shrek beats him to death with his ogrepowered move set

He makes a fire out of ear candles and burns Gary

Now the adventure's over

I'm sad because Shrek will gone

I ask Shrek what to do now

Shrek pats my head and says, "This is pershrektion."