I'm exploring the lich's tomb with my party
We have five people. I'm the cleric. I have a god and I heal the party. It's my job. It's my life.
We find a bunch of skeletons. Our party kills them. Only my blows can keep them down. I have holy magic.
We get to the last level. "Levels are like layers. Onions have layers," I say.
Our team fighter says, "What the fuck."
They all laugh at me. I hang my head in shame.
We walk into the final room. A skeleton is wearing robes and firing magic. He's the lich.
The lich eats all the other souls except for mine. I get on my knees and pray. My God doesn't listen.
Then I pray for Shrek. He was always my real God, but the fag running the game wouldn't let him be my god. He's called the DM.
I pray to Shrek, but I hear nothing. Then a green ogre hand comes out of the ground.
The lich is beat to death with Shrek's lovely dick. He's now just a bunch of dust. "Believe in Shrek," he says. "Shrek saves."
The game ends and the DM pulls me to the side. He screams and calls me a faggot. I look at him and call him a non-believer.
I open the window and take a breath of fresh air. The DM pushes me out the window and I fall.
Shrek catches me.
He flies me back up to the window and uses his cum to green-wash the store.
Everybody's dead.
Shrek turns to me and says, "This is a trainshrek." He jumps out the window and flies away.
This store has levels. Levels are like layers, and onions have layers.
Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
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What the Shrek (AU)
RandomLove, life... What is more meaningful than a lone onion, resting gently in a swamp? Shrek is that onion, and with this compilation of Shrek-centered stories, you won't only feel invigorated, but also as if some part of your essence has been question...
