Larry Smut

Up Against The Wall

Nobody can really blame Harry for being grumpy, really. Louis called him around 9 am, and asked if he's up for a coffee date. Please, don't think of the 'date' as that kind of date. No – far from it. You see, Harry knows he likes Louis, a lot. Hell, after all these years he knows very well he's in trouble, because he knows his feelings are not just a small crush, but something deeper. He doesn't want to think about it too much, to be honest. Not that it would help anyway. He is very much aware that Louis will not return his feelings, and he's quite sure that his friend doesn't even find him attractive to at least be fuck buddies – even if Harry knows he'd be crushed if Louis will eventually find someone else and their 'agreement' would end.

You see, Louis likes to drag Harry to a coffee date from time to time, or better said, at least twice a week. Someone might think one of them is a caffeine addict, but, of course, that's not it. At first he thought that Louis just simply loves the food from this place, or maybe he just truly loves the way they make tea and coffee. It took him a few weeks – yes, weeks – to understand why Louis would always rush to get the table next to the window, even if sometimes the sun would blind them and the heat would make them sweat as if they'd ran a mile.

One day when he's been called to go again, he couldn't refuse. He just had a hard exam and he thought that a nice coffee and a delicious meal won't hurt. Maybe an iced tea, since it was so hot outside. So he obviously told Louis he will meet him there. When he found Louis at the same table, he wasn't surprised – I mean, it was basically tradition by now. He started questioning why Louis would always drag him to this exact place at the exact table after the first two weeks, but he just thought Louis has a crush on one of the waiters – which, yes, it would suck, but no, he won't destroy his best friend's chance of getting laid. It turned out that Louis was not eyeing any waiter, and denied when Harry asked him about, so he just shrugged and stopped thinking about it.

He started questioning it again, because let's be real, the food isn't that great, and the tea is like any other tea. He finally understood what is going on when he noticed Louis never really paid attention to him when they were there. The man would always chose the chair that gives the perfect view outside, and Harry never even asked why. The moment Louis almost dropped his sandwich, busy looking somewhere outside, is the moment Harry turned to look at what he is looking.

It's not that he's bothered by it – yes, he is – but his crush was staring open mouthed – yes, he knows – at a gym rat. Or – well, that's not very nice, but you know, one of those buff guys with shiny – oily, mind you – muscles and fake tans.

Look, Harry is not the one to judge people based on their body type and so on, but c'mon! He knows he's not the hottest guy, and he knows Louis can have anyone out there, and they should consider themselves lucky to be in the presence of the sun, Mr. Louis Tomlinson himself, but that doesn't make it easier for him.

He loves eating healthy – even if Louis judges him and refuses to touch anything that has too much green 'stuff' in it – and he works out from time to time, but he's not as muscular as those guys in porn. His abs are there, but barely visible, and his biceps are okay looking, if you ask him. Obviously, Louis doesn't seem to think so. If Harry is being honest, Louis has never shown any attraction towards him, sometimes people believing him and Liam are together because of the way Louis loves to cling to his arms. Harry loves his best friend a lot, he truly does, Liam is an amazing guy, but he can't help but sulk a bit now.

In a way, it's good to know what he's missing, and why Louis isn't attracted to him. On the other hand, it sucks – a lot. He's ready to tell Louis that he can't come, his self-esteem being low enough after realizing why he's not good enough, but he can't really do that to Louis – so he ends up going and allowing Louis to salivate after those guys. He does appreciate that Louis tries not to be too obvious about it, but you know, it's hard when he knows about it.