The Sport of Internet Surfing

For all those who don't know- Nerds and sport is a sensitive topic.  Its funny really. We would probably know how to use a diamond sword but we can't even catch a ball. To most of us physical sports is a living hell. The only time we could possibly do any thing physical is getting up and going to the fridge or scrolling our fingers through Netflix or Crunchy roll.

The original definition of sport is:

'An activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment'

Nerd's definition of sport:

'Hell and death'

Yep.

To be downright serious, every sport of bloody deadly. It's true.

 Football- tackling and ball in the head 

Cricket- ball in your groin, cricket bat to the head.

Any ball game- head injuries.

Swimming- Drowning 

Bicycling- Getting stampede by other people.

You see on the news all the time how people are getting hurt playing sports. Sport stars getting broken bones or head injuries. You never hear a nerd getting injured. Why? Because we never fucking go outside. We can't get sun cancer! We never go to the sun, we're fucking vampires. The only time we could get injuries is by a broken heart, paper cut from a book (that hurts like hell) or lack of vitamins.

Also, why is it more socially acceptable to be obsessed with a sports team but not a book, TV show or movie? Like seriously, what the flipping fuck? Matches are the same. Every. Single.Time. Some wins, someone loses, someone breaks the rules, some one gets injured. In books- its different every chapter, TV shows- it's different every episode, Movies- different plots and story lines.

Sporting stars are always get swatted by police for either being idiots or drug dealing. Nerds, we don't do that shit. We don't get seen on the news for drugs or anything like that because we are too lazy do anything! The only crimes we could commit is illegally downloading stuff or murdering people for insulting our fandom.  

I hope to the Otaku god that you're getting my point.

This may not have anything to do with nerds, but you sometimes hear some sporting stars saying they're depressed, suicidal, have anxiety etc.  Bitch please, there are heaps of people out there with depression and anxiety, but no society only cares if the sport stars have it because apparently their more important.  Apparently a sport star who dose drugs/ drug trafficking and is a overall prick who just happens to be depressed, their for some forbidden reason are more important than people who have a day to day struggle with these metal illnesses. 

While we are on the topic of stars doing drugs, these people are meant to be 'role models'. Bullshit. Some role models they are. Kids look up to these guys and their doing drugs and being twats. Us nerds, we idolize the right people. 

Here is the difference between fictional idols and sport idols.

The Doctor- Doctor Who: He's kind. He never use a gun. He saves people. He's smart and caring. Saved many people and planets. Isn't racist or sexist. 

Ray Rice- Footballer: Physically assaulted his fiance. His charges were dropped. Only go a two game suspension. Video footage of him knocking his fiance unconscious and dragging her to an elevator.

Samwise Gamgee- Lord of the rings: He's loyal and honest. He never gives up. He is humble and kind hearted. Never let fear get the best of him. Clever.

Brandon Marshall- Footballer: Assaulted his former and current wife. Never got charged. Fired a gun at his father. Got involved in an incident where a woman got hit outside a nightclub. Claimed his wife punched her.

There are heaps more, but those are some examples.

Getting to the topic of nerds, most or all of us don't enjoy (and like) sports. The sport we particularly enjoy is surfing...

The Internet.

We are all bloody good at that game. We can type at about 100km per second without even looking at the keyboard. We're brilliant at re blogging things rather quickly on Tumblr. Another sport we are particularly fantastic at is staying up very late and crying our eyes out.