depression

Dear diry its August 5, 2000 i an eight i just moved to a new town a new school new house new everything i was sad because my mom left my dad for this other guy i hate him he abuse me all the time my dad always hug me and tell me he loves me i dont understand what was wrong with my dad for my mom t leave him he loved her. Anyways i was at school and these people just started laughing at me i wanted to die because i was being hurt at school and at home i had no way out. Years past i'm now 13 years old pregnant i was rape by this boy at school people are calling me a hoe i have been fighting depression for 5 years on the age of nine i stared to cut,burn and pull hair my hair i didn't need to bruise myself cause that my step - fathers job its been his job for 6 years. 1 year later i'm 14 remember last years i was pregnant well i lost it when in a car crash with my mom R.I.P mommy :( i'm now alone with my stupid step - father to weeks later i tired running away of course he found me. june 4th of 2006 at 5: 41 i tried to commit suicide my body was shutting down unfortunately it started back up i went to a support group for teens i found out that my depression is getting worse. 2 month later i found out that my real father had commit suicide i was broken then ever my dad was also fighting depression even since he was 20 years old he died at the age of 40. August 8th i'm back to school and people are saying things to me one and off "your worthless" "die bitch die" "your shit" "your dad killed him self because he looked at a picture at you" i was obviously upset i stopped doing buring and pulling hair but not cutting that day i hit a vein then was sent to the hospital when the doctors discoverd the bruises they ask my step - father he told then that i used to hit my self they believed him. 2 years later january 5, 2008 i found out i was pregnant again but it was my fault becauae at that time i had a bf and we did it. my dad tried to kill me because of that i locked my self in my room. i text my bf and told him whats happening he told me to escape but during that moment i had pain on my stomach i was aent to the hospital i lost my bady i was told that i cant have babies. me and my bf cried for hours after a month we broke up cause he had to move i told me that i love him after 2 months i was still broken still depressed i was upset i cut more and more evey day and hour one day while i was school they have told me that my step - father have been shot and died i wasn't that sad cause the things he have done to me 1 week later they told me i had to move in with these parents i hated them they also abused me and 1 year later i got in to drugs and drinking and more cutting. on September of 2009 i just stabbed myself right now as i'm taking my last breath i'm have lost the war of depression i couldn't take the pain so goodbye.