I awoke to the bed shaking, and I shifted, groaning. Aoba froze, and my eyes opened slightly. I sat up and rubbed my head, running my fingers through my messy hair.
"'Morning..."
My voice is groggy and still weighed down with sleep. Aoba flipped.
"CYANIDE!"
I jumped and reached for my knives, when I realized I had taken off my sheathes. And then the problem dawned on me. Scars littered my chest and back, all from the tight straps that I almost always wore. I grabbed the straps off the floor and began buckling them back on, but I was stopped by Aoba. He grabbed my wrists and threw them to the side as he pulled off the straps again. I shook slightly as he traced his fingers lightly over the scars. My skin burned where his fingers touched me. I looked at his face and was shocked to see tears slipping down his cheeks. When he spoke, his voice wavered, on the edge of breaking.
"Cy....."
I grunted and pulled away. His hand dropped to his side, tears dripping off his chin.
"I'm fine. They don't hurt anymore. I'm used to it."
"I hate seeing you hurt..."
I looked up in surprise, and saw that Aoba was blushing. His eyes were cast at the ground, and I hesitated, dropping the straps in my hands. He looked up as I pulled the rest of them off and approached him. The look in my eyes must have been intimidating, because his eyes widened a little and he backed up till he hit the wall. I placed my hands on either side of his head, caging him in. The muscles in my arms and chest bulged, and he eyed them with a tinge of fear. Then my brain stopped working. I just stood there, glaring deep into his eyes, not knowing what to do. I honestly had no idea why I did this in the first place. As I fumbled for something to do, Aoba moved first. He wrapped both of his hands around the back of my neck and pressed his lips to mine. My rational brain sparked and stalled while this unfamiliar feeling in my gut grew. It was a nice feeling, but I couldn't quite remember the name of it. Instinct took over and I closed my eyes, bending my arms so Aoba was pressed between me and the wall. His hands moved to the side of my face, pulling my mouth closer to his. My face grew dark red, and my heart jumped and bounced furiously. His hands started to slide down my back, when a massive spike of pain in my chest sent me keeling forward, gasping for breath. Aoba yelped as I fell onto the floor, my vision fazing in and out. What was this? Just as my mind searched for an answer, a memory began to surface.....
Three years ago...
Cy jumped along the rooftops, loving how the wind felt in his hair. He glanced back, his blue eye glimmering in the setting sun. A tall figure landed next to him, a small smile lighting up his lips.
"Noiz...."
Cy hugged the tall figure, pressing his lips to the other's. Noiz kissed back, then gently set him down. Cy spoke again, but this time he had sadness in his eyes and regret in his voice.
"I... I have something to tell you. We..... we can't be together.... we have to break up."
Noiz stared at him in surprise, then anger took over. He grabbed the smaller around the neck and squeezed, pulling him close.
"What did you say?"
Despite the lack of air, Cy remained resilient. He managed to choke out:
"I said, we need to break up."
The taller threw Cy to the ground, then his foot connected with his stomach.
"What. Did you find someone else?"
At the last word, he punched the smaller in the chest, cracking a few ribs. Cy spit out blood as he gasped for breath, then cried out.
"No! NOIZ IT'S BECAUSE OF THIS!"
He yanked his shirt up, revealing the several bruises and cuts that had been added to over the months they had been together. Tears threatened to spill over as Cy continued yelling.
"I can't deal with this anymore! Every day it's the same thing! Get home. Beat me up. Have sex. Sleep. Every morning it's the same thing! Get up. Beat me up. Eat. Leave. Why do you hurt me?! I've told you when you hurt me but you ignore me!"
The taller retaliated.
"I have also told YOU. I can't feel pain. I don't know what you complain about. I don't know when to stop."
"Well it would be nice if you could learn! I've TOLD YOU when it hurts! But you don't care! I have had enough!"
Cy stands, tears dripping down his cheeks.
"Good bye Noiz."
With that, he jumped off the roof, leaping into the night, glistening tears splattering onto the concrete behind him.
I gritted my teeth against the powerful memories that flooded into my mind. Pain gripped my heart and old scars hurt as if they were new. I could barely hear Aoba's frightened yells over the sound of my heart pounding. Hands gripped my shoulders and pulled me onto the bed. Time passed, but through the blur of the tears and the wracking sobs, it became fluid. A cold rag was pressed to my forehead and the jolt shocked me out of my paralysis. My chest heaved as my frightened eyes met the face of Aoba. I realized my cheeks were dry.
"Cyanide.... are you okay? You just kind of, fell. I-I'm so sorry if I did something to hurt you..."
So I hadn't been sobbing. I hadn't been crying. I had been so caught up in my past, that I had totally forgotten about reality. I nodded weakly, my voice a mere whisper.
"It's okay. You didn't do anything. I just.... I didn't....."
My voice trailed off as I grimaced, pressing my palms to my closed eyes. Taking a deep breath, I pushed that memory back into the deep depths of my mind, throwing it back amidst the rest of my past. My face drained of emotion and I stood, staring into space with a cold gaze. Aoba stared at me, then jumped up. I walked toward the door, and ignored his questions.
"Cy? Cy what happened? Cy!"
I walked out, and closed the door.
