Shy [Liam Payne]

Chapter 25

*Marianne's Point of View*


"Come on, Mari. Open the door." Harry sighed, tiredly beating on the door. He and Liam are waiting on the other side. Harry knows I don't want to talk to Liam. Apparently they have something important to tell me. I don't want to face Liam.


I'm terrified that he's gonna say that he's going back to Danielle and we're over. Why else would he want to talk to me? He admitted that he cheated on me. Well, he didn't technically cheat on me since we aren't together. But we were, like, almost dating. Isn't that cheating on me?


"Please let me in, Marianne." Liam begged, speaking for the first time. I couldn't handle hearing his voice. I went in my adjacent bathroom and cut on the shower. I sat on the floor and sobbed so they couldn't hear me. After a little while, I felt guilty about wasting the water and running up the bill. I turned the shower off and just cried, not caring whether they heard me or not.


Why did this happen to me? I get an amazing guy. He's absolutely perfect. He's sweet and caring and doesn't pressure me into anything. He treated me like a princess, though I'm far from one. Then another girl comes along. If falls apart from there. He cheats on me with her. He doesn't even try to hide it. He just told me bluntly. Of course, it ruins me. I've considered cutting. I've considered suicide. But every time I think about it, somebody always knocks on my door and begs me to let them in.


That just reminds me that somebody actually loves me, even if Liam doesn't anymore. Louis, Harry, Niall, Zayn, Eleanor, Perrie all love me. I'm not gonna kill myself just because Liam doesn't. There are six or seven billion people in this world. I'm not ending my life over just one person.


But that one person is my world, my life. I woke up every day for a month with a smile on my face. I was excited about my life. It was all perfect. I was almost over Social Anxiety. I had the best almost-boyfriend. I had the most amazing friends and family. I felt loved. I was happy.


For some reason, I can't ever be happy for too long. Something always has to go wrong. I'm back to being completely single. I'm back to being socially awkward and freezing when my best friend hugs me. I can't believe I did that to Harry. I know it hurt him a lot. He's my absolute best friend, and I'm almost scared of hugging him.


I don't know why I'm like this again. I got hurt once by somebody I loved and it pushed me passed my limit. I trusted him and he hurt me. I guess my mind knows that hugging somebody is a sign of trust, and it doesn't want me trusting anybody for a long time. And I won't trust anybody for a while. Not Harry or Louis or Eleanor or anybody. I'll keep my thoughts to myself, just like I did two months ago when I lived with my Mum and stepdad.


I heard the doorknob start moving. I didn't move, knowing it was locked and they couldn't get in. To my surprise, it opened a couple seconds later.


*Liam's Point of View*


I unlocked the bathroom door. I listened to her sob for a good five minutes until I couldn't do it anymore. I can't just sit there and listen to the girl I love cry. I assured Harry that I can handle this alone and he left me to do this by myself. I guess I can do it. I don't know.


When I saw her, my heart shattered into a million pieces. Her eyes were red from crying. She had a tear line running down her face that was black from her eye makeup. She was shaking. She looked absolutely terrified to see me. I did this. It's my fault.


I shut the bathroom door behind me and locked it, setting the key on the counter. I sat down on the floor like Marianne, but a good three feet away from her. She looked down at her hands, refusing to meet my gaze.


I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I reached out and grabbed her hand. She pulled away instantly and scooted backwards to get away from me.


"D-Don't touch me." She stuttered.


I blinked, trying to comprehend what just happened. She's scared of me. No, she's terrified of me. I finally understood what she's been doing.


She's been sitting in her room thinking. She's convinced herself that I'm a horrible person. She thinks I'm only gonna hurt her now. She's told herself that I did this on purpose.


I have to agree, I'm a horrible person. I cheated on the most amazing girl in the world with an insensitive bitch. But I'm not gonna hurt her again, if I can help it. I didn't cheat on her on purpose. Why would I do that to somebody like her? She's perfect. I'm so lucky to have her. Well, I was lucky to have her. Now my chances aren't so good.


"How are you?" I asked. That was the dumbest question ever. Of course, she's falling apart inside. She's hurt.. She's feeling betrayed. She's scared.


"Fine." She said quickly and quietly.


"Will you talk to me?" I sighed.


"I am talking to you."


"Will you please act like you care, Marianne? I know you. I know you're putting up a wall. I know you care. I know you're probably falling apart inside. Please just talk to me." I begged.


"I don't want to talk to you." She replied, almost like she was programmed to say it.


"Then I'll talk to you." I sighed. "Danielle called me this morning. She left some stuff at my flat from when we were dating and wanted to come get it."


"Liam, I don't want to hear the whole story behind why you're choosing her over me. I understand. You don't have to explain." She said firmly.


"Just let me talk, please." I said hopelessly. She remained quiet. "I let her come over. She got her stuff. Before she left she...she kissed me." Marianne cringed, looking down at her hands again. "I didn't pull away."


"Okay. That's fucking great. You don't have to tell me anymore." She snapped.


"I finally got passed the shock and pushed her off of me." I kept going. Mari's head raised up in confusion. "I didn't mean to cheat on you."


"Then what was 'dating anybody else was a mistake' about?" She spat.


"I was talking about you! Dating anybody besides you was a huge mistake!" I exclaimed. She cringed again and slid backwards a little, trying to get away from me. "Look, I was an idiot when I didn't pull away. I was shocked. I didn't mean for it to happen. Please forgive me?"


"I forgive you." She replied quietly. "But... I don't think we should be together anymore, Liam."