After she passed I was kinda living everywhere and now I'm with my uncle. Last last Summer my family and I went up to the Big Horns to spread her ashes... I guess some part of me was still believed she was alive and would come back (even though deep down I knew it wasn't true) and when I saw her ashes I hit me like bullet to the heart, because that's when I realized: My mom is dead, she's gone forever.
I was so broken and hurt and for a little bit I was mad at her for leaving me to be alone.
~~~~~When she passed away~~~~
She was in a medical induced Coma so she couldn't respond or wake up. I sat there on her left in hospital room: 317 Floor: 7, Denver Hospital (I don't think it's creepy that I remember that) holding her hand and holding back my tears to be strong for her and my sisters. I was saying the words that hurt me so much: It's okay Momma you can let go, I love you. I just kept saying it over and over. This lady I. The room even had the courage to fücking tell me: it's no use, she doesn't know who you are. And THATS when I started crying my eyes out. To make matters worse (but I'm thankful they did it now) they turned off the heart monitor before she flatlined saving us from even more pain. When she left I could feel her you know? Her presence leaving me and the rest of our family. I even remember the time: 10:31 AM January 25th 2014. That day was the day the old me died
Ever since then I've felt like someone else, just the ghost of a girl that used to be.
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She's white but she's breath taking isn't she? She's my biological mom too❤️
JJustBreezy this is why it hurts me so bad, I see it happen every time I close my eyes, I love you Papi and like I said, I know how you feel and I will be here for you❤️❤️
