Forsaken

Four

I sat in my father's room at the Akatsuki base, thinking of how long Orochimaru had kept me under his grasp. The question of whether or not my mother actually wanted to give me away still floats around in my mind, but, I haven't tried to dwell on it too much. Sasori had managed to convince me that attacking was not a good idea and that I needed to wait for Pein's permission but, something just bothered me constantly. When I went to the Otogakure gates and watched the village I had noticed someone that seemed familiar, yet I didn't know them, but I felt that I did. A part of me wanted to believe that it could've been my mother because my father had told me she disappeared without any evidence of having died. Which meant she still could be alive somewhere and I just don't know it. I heard the door to the room open and I looked up to see my father carrying food in for me, Pein normally didn't allow this but I had become extremely ill and couldn't leave my bed. Meaning I had to eat in here.

"Father, can I talk to you? And I need total honesty." I looked over at my dad as he sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at me.

"What is it?" I thought for a moment, trying to carefully phrase every sentence so I could get my point out.

"You've been hiding something, I can see it when I talk about my mother, and I need to know what it is. I saw someone new at Otogakure the last time I surveyed the village, and I knew that person, but I had never met them during my stay. What exactly aren't you telling me?" My father sighed. The sigh I recognized as a sigh of defeat.

"When you were born you were dead; you had died in your mother's body during the delivery. We buried you and we mourned, but your mom she couldn't take it. I knew she was up to something so one day I followed her to your grave, I saw her dig you up and take you to Otogakure. I don't know what she did in there but I knew that within a couple days I had my little girl. Alive. I didn't think about it anymore, but a few days before you were abducted, your mom suddenly despised you. She couldn't look at you, she couldn't touch you, and she couldn't be your mom. At that point the memories of that day popped up, and I knew it had something to do with Orochimaru. I never got to find out before your mom killed herself by hanging shortly after you were taken. I wasn't lying when I said she disappeared, because after I buried her, her body suddenly disappeared. All I know is that I found snake scales in her grave, so I knew who had her but I didn't know he had you." I listened to him finish and tears welled up in my eyes. I am a reanimated corpse.

"I...I'm a walking corpse...Someone had to die so I could live..."

"I'm afraid so, and because when you were brought back the reanimation jutsu wasn't yet perfected so now every few years someone must die to keep you alive. I did some research after you came back to me, and my usual sacrifices should be enough to keep you alive." I shook my head and looked up at my father.

"I am happy to have finally met my father, and to feel loved for once, but now that I know people must die to save me...I don't want to live. I know I'm supposed to be a killer, and I know i've killed already, but if I remember right it has to be an innocent that dies. Not the criminals I've been killing, and I can't take that." My father sighed and nodded at me. I didn't want to die but I also didn't want to be a walking corpse. My father left the room and I heard him gather everyone into the main room. I got up and locked the door to the room so no one could bother me and listened in.

"My daughter has decided she wants to die. I didn't tell anyone when I originally had her, but she had passed away as a baby. My wife had given her to Orochimaru for him to revive so now every couple years an innocent has to die to save her life. And she decided, that while she was okay with guilty people dying, she wasn't okay with the idea of innocent people dying so she could live and has decided that she wants her body to be laid to rest."

"What?! No! She can't just do that!" Sasori...He sounded so upset. I knew he had a thing for me and this, this just confirmed my hunches. I heard similar reactions from the others but they sounded much more upset. I felt guilty for hurting them, but I couldn't do this anymore. I thought about it and I decided, I need to return to Orochimaru.