BESSICA4EVER: the friendship of Jessica and Becky

V: Becky

          I got to my house at 11:19pm. The next day, I go to work at the library. Even though the work is the same, I can't help but feel like there's something different, some nagging thought that I push away. Throughout the next few weeks, although all the events are routine, working, reading, cleaning, going to a few parties with Jessica, listening to all of the gossip Jessica throws at me, I still can't help but notice the strange feeling of change constantly tugging on my sleeve. 

          This feeling, I realised, must be dealt with. I notice that there's always a hint of regret each time I answer Jessica's calls or get in her car. Why would that happen? Jessica has always been my best friend, she's always called me when something dramatic happens or when she sees a strange person out and about. Nothing about Jessica has changed, maybe I've just realised something about the way she treats me. Always, I had assumed that she treated me like a friend because she's the only one I've ever had. She is much more socially advanced and looks out for me. But maybe I don't need that anymore, maybe I can manage on my own, without her, I would be able to make new friends. Oh wow this is crazy, what am I saying?

         I decide to call my mum to get her advice. I love my mum, Jessica has made it clear that she hates hers, but I think parents give good advice. My mum tells me that I should follow my heart, and if it tells me it's time to stop being friends with Jessica, then I need to take it one step at a time. The first step is to delete her on facebook; the next step is to never talk to her again. 

          Is my heart telling me that I need to move on? I'm not sure since I've spent so long shutting it out and listening to Jessica instead. I'm always afraid of people noticing me, but maybe that's just because Jessica tells me I should be. This is the most difficult decision I have ever had to make, even though the answer has been creeping up on me and now it's right in front of my face. I know what I'm going to do.