iVampires

iSee You're Different

Sam lay on her girly cow bedspread, watching an old iCarly cast on her shitty phone. It was 2:00 in the morning, and Carly and Spencer were asleep. Freddy was apparently missing... Mrs. Benson was probably making a big deal of nothing. Freddy would turn up tomorrow. Marissa Benson thought that not dotting "i" and "j" was some serious chiz. 

 Mama Puckett had won three buckets of baked beans playing blackjack at the Seattle civic center on Sunday. She had stumbled home drunk, lugging three orange Home Depot buckets full with baked beans. Pam had had nothing to eat except for beans for the past few days, so the living room, where Pam watched TV and drank bag wine all day, was a chemical weapon test site, unfit for human habitation. This was why Sam was cooped up in her room. 

As Sam watched a segment where Carly and Sam reenacted the frosting scene from Katy Perry's California Gurls, the cellophane and duct tape that covered her broken window began to rustle. 

"Sam! Sam!" a familiar male voice whisper-shouted from the window. Sam dropped her phone and sat up. She tiptoed to the window and saw Freddy balanced, perfectly calm, in the branches of the small tree outside her window. "Ummm. Freds ...? What are you doing here?  It's 2:00 in the morning."

"I'll tell you later. Sam, just let me in." 

"Kay, Fredward. However, you have to promise not to cut the cheese in my room. Serious chiz:  Pam is in the living room, letting gas fly out of her like she's St. Flatulus or something. My room is my only sanctuary." 

Freddy rolled his eyes and climbed into the room. When the Girly Cow nightlight shone onto Freddy's face, Sam could see that old Fredward was looking a bit... strange. Leaves were plastered in his hair, which was ruffled. His skin was a pale milk shade. He seemed to have just finished a cherry ice-pop - his mouth was stained bright red with what looked like cherry juice. His pupils were two sparkling pieces of onyx.

"How are you, Sam?  How was the show yesterday? I hope you didn't have Eustace from the AV club be my substitute.. I can't stand the thought of those sausage fingers on my brand new laptop. " Freddy asked, chuckling lightly. Sam just stared. "Freddy, are you all right? And no, we had Judith come in." she proceeded cautiously. Freddy didn't look like the usual sweet boy Sam secretly loved. Freddy's shining eyes were inscrutable, when they were usually open books. 

"All right? I've never been better! I'm feeling on top of the world! One thing is... I'm really hungry." 

"Umm... why don't you sit down, Freddie. Have a fat cake," Sam said, tossing him a fat cake. She also handed him a half eaten passionfruit smoothie from Groovy Smoothie. Freddie tossed the smoothie and fat cake on the carpet, creating yet another stain on top of an old one.

"Hey! That stain went well with my dresser! What the chiz!" 

Freddie ignored her. "I'm so hungry, Sam. You couldn't ever possibly know how hungry I am at this moment," Freddie's eyes smouldered.

"Fredward, lay off the crazy cakes, dude! ...  oh, I understand now.... You have the munchies! I didn't know you were such good friends with T-Bo!" 

Freddie rolled his eyes once again. "Yes, I have the munchies... for you!" Sam suddenly understood that wasn't cherry juice on Freddie's mouth...

Freddie's sweet face disappeared and in its place was the face of a monster. Sharp artery-piercing fangs sprouted from Freddie's previously cute mouth. Sam screamed and backed into a corner. She threw a girly cow figurine at Freddie's head. Freddie menacingly inched toward Sam.

"No use, hon. I'm gonna drink you up so bad. When you wake up, you're gonna be like me... young forever. Then, we can share Carly, Spencer, Gibby, and everyone else at Ridgeway... We'll all be together forever, best buds forever! We'll be able to have iCarly casts forever!  Maybe we'll pass up on Ms. Briggs though. Her blood probably tastes like raisin juice." 

Sam kicked and scratched at vampire Freddie. It was no use. Freddie was so, so strong. Those pasty white arms seemed to be as strong as titanium as they lifted Sam into the air and twirled her around like she was a balloon animal. 

"Don't worry, Samantha. This will only hurt... a lot!" Freddy's demon eyes shone like coins as his fangs pierced the soft white flesh of Sam's neck. Sam tried to scream, but her throat was welling up with blood. "See ya on the other side," Freddie paused before burying his face in Sam's neck, sucking out her life. 

Sam was scared. What if the person Freddie had just bitten had had AIDS? "Nooooo!" Sam managed to scream, as her field of vision faded to black. 

Freddie licked his lips. "Mmmmm... the mellow accents of fat cake and Doritos really add a full-bodied character," he mumbled to himself contentedly. He climbed out of the window, leaving Sam's corpse behind. He would see Sam again in 24 hours, when she woke up at the Seattle morgue. Before then, he had some Carly business to take care of...