I had always been quite vulnerable, I guess. I had too many reasons to be. I didn't particularly like myself, I got that from the way that nobody else really liked me either. I was afraid of many things, people being one of my main concerns. Not because I had social anxiety or even a hatred of people but because I was shy and awkward and clumsy and grew to the impression that people probably had a hatred towards me. There was always the exception of one person. Phil put everything into perspective. I'd lost count of how many years I'd admired him and been best friends with him. We were just friends but with more meaning. He would look after me if I was vulnerable, sad, alone and just his presence was more than comforting. I felt cosy and warm around Phil, I loved that he was protective of me. His voice was so deep, I could get lost in Phil's voice. Anything he said made me feel at home within seconds and I wouldn't have it any other way. He would carry me to bed if I fell asleep on the couch, take care of me when I was sick, sit and talk to me for hours if I was sad and try to resolve the issues, he'd always make sure I was fed and happy. I obviously felt something more for him and he knew I was gay and it only made me fall for him more when he still stuck around and didn't find it awkward or weird that I did like men. I always had a feeling that maybe he liked me too but didn't want to feel like he was taking advantage considering my vulnerability. Even if something did happen he would probably be afraid to touch me and constantly ask if I was okay and I thought it was best to just leave it becuase of how difficult the relationship would be. I couldn't help myself sometimes, I feel like he was starting to pick up on things I was doing. I would stare at his beauty at the dinner table and focus on the little things I loved about him. Sometimes I'd be randomly sitting with him and suddenly start to sigh or breathe heavily at how much I wanted this and he was beginning to notice. I was scared that maybe he thought I was dropping hints and I didn't want him to get freaked out, I just wanted to admire how beautiful and perfect he was to me. I needed sleep, I was getting out of hand.
I woke up in the morning to the smell of fresh pancakes. Delia Smith pancakes, my favourite and Phil was standing by the kitchen side with nothing but trousers on, I couldn't tell if he just hadn't put on a shirt or if he was getting at something. As soon as I walked in I looked at him and started breathing ridiculously heavily. His protective instincts kicked in and he immediately asked if I was okay, if I needed water which didn't help my feelings. I looked into his eyes as his soft hand was placed on my shoulder and he was using his thumb to make circles on the lower back of my neck. I could feel myself shaking and trembling and panted "no, I need air, alone." I left the flat slamming the door behind me and took 10 or 11 long deep breaths. I slid my back slowly down the wall, crouched on the floor and felt tears slowly rolling down my cheeks. After 20 or so minutes Phil had become worried and came to comfort me. He sat down next to me and said, quite concerned, "hey hey hey, calm down, look I'm here, Im here to hold you, tell me what's wrong." I began to lose breath again trying to splutter some words out of my mouth. "I g-get that Im v-vulnerable and your a-afraid but I-I l-love you and I can't d-do this a-any-anymore." Phil grabbed my chin with his thumb and pointer finger and gently pulled my face towards his. With small, light, feathered kisses he took the tears off of my face. I looked at him and smiled. He pulled me into a tender, adorable kiss and stroked my face. "You don't have to treat me like im made of glass, that's what im trying to say. Yes im fragile but I want this, I want you." I put my hands on the side of his neck and kissed him passionately, Phil's face in utter shock. We stood up, not breaking the kiss and walked into the flat. His voice that was once comforting and protective turned into something sexy and something that made everything seem arousing. He closed the door behind us and pushed me up against the wall, his hands on my waist sliding up into my shirt. He looked at me for permission to take my top off, I nodded and he lifted it up over my head. I slowly started to move down and kiss all the way from his chest to his bellybutton. I quickly attempted to undo his jeans but was stopped. He looked at me with concern on his face, almost horrified at what I was doing and what he was doing to me. Before I could reassure him that it was fine he demanded "if you are okay with this then this isn't about me, this is about you, I want to do this for you." I squirmed and nodded my head. He kissed my lips and downwards to my jawline and began to kiss and suck on my neck leaving hickeys and hitting sweet spots I didn't even know I had. He pulled me strongly up against him, our bare chests rubbing, licked and lightly bit my earlobe and whispered "for you my Danny baby." I melted underneath him as he undid the zip on my black skinny jeans. He pulled down my bottoms and boxers together to reveal my massive erection. He looked up at me and raised his eyebrow quite surprised at what id been hiding asking me once more for permission before he started. "Oh my god Phil, it's fucking fine, just go, im dying." He giggled before he licked the tip of my dick and I let out a moan so loud all of London could hear. He began to tease me, licking around the head and lightly playing with my balls, I didn't want to pressure him so I didn't tell him to hurry up. I eventually grew some confidence after about five minutes of pure torture and said "for fucks sake" while pushing his head onto my cock. He began to Bob up and down and soon had my full dick in his mouth. I was taken in a moment of pure ecstacy and grabbed onto Phil's hair digging my nails slightly into the back of his head. "I-i-I'm gonna c-cum."
He began to go faster and harder and I soon exploded in his mouth. You have no idea how sexy and pleasurable it was to watch him swallow. We both fell to the ground and looked at each other, love in our eyes. "Never be afraid to touch me or hold me or anything Phil and I won't be afriad to do the same to you, I love you." "My god, I love you too dan." ♡♡♡
