Are you sorry that you can't have me now?

Rejection and betrayal

This is a flashback of what happened before Stiles was kidnapped and drugged...so like the rejections and all

Stiles' POV

Jackson Whittemore, he's so lucky to have someone (Lydia) to love him like this. She actually saved him from death. He doesn't deserve her at all, but destiny is unfair because she will always be there for him. Always. Whittemore is an asshole to her, but they are still a couple, still in love, and still protect each other. I wish that the person that I love can at least be kind to me. Lydia's courage to save her boyfriend inspired me to have enough courage to confess to him. Yes. Him. It's a guy that I've been in love since the first time I saw him. But, as usual things always go wrong for me, and that inspiration was not a good one at all. I was so stupid, how could I not see through the way that he treated me that he hate me? How couldn't I see that all of my "friends" just allowed me to stay around because of Scott? How couldn't I see that Scott changed, and think that I am a shame to him? How couldn't I? Why is the world so unfair? Why did I had to fall in love with him? Oh, well I guess that it's all ending now, I can feel my body paralyzing, I can smell the metallic scent of the blood, I fell my tears drying, I'm so...cold. 

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Flashback farther (during the rejection and betrayal)

Stiles' POV

I'm so nervous, sooooooooo nervous. Usually I'm excited when school ends, but today I'm going to CONFESS to my broody prince charming. Yes, I'm gay, but I'm nervous because I don't know if he's gay. So yeah, big Problem. I wasn't going to confess, but a lot of crazy things happened here in this calm little town of Beacon Hills, like werewolves actually exist, and so does Kanimas. That's the point, Kanimas are a giant lizard looking thing that get manipulated around and can paralyze by injecting poison with its claws, but its scared of water. One time, I was holding prince charming in the school's pool for 2 hours because he got injected by the kanima, and it was HEAVEN. I'm pretty sure that I was hard during the whole time, but thankfully he couldn't sense it since he was numb and floating in a freezing pool or he will probably rip out my throat with his teeth. Anyway, if Lydia has the courage to approach a dying, giant, creepy lizard to bring her boyfriend back to life, then I can at least have the courage for a confession.

General  POV

When the bell rang, Stiles jump off from his seat and runs toward his Jeep to drive to the loft for the pack meeting.

"Hey Stiles, me and Allison will go over there later", yelled Scott to the running boy. When the boy replied with a "Got it", he proceed to make out with Allison in front of the lockers.

Stiles drives in front of the loft and stopped, he came out of his car and told himself "Well it's better to get it over before anyone comes if he rejects me" before he knocks on the door.

Derek opened the door and ask in a gruff tone "Stiles, why are you here so early, it's not time yet"

"Is there anyone that already arrived?"ask Stiles without answering the question.

"No-", said Derek before a thumping sound was heard, and he quickly recover by saying "Never mind that, it's probably just something that fell down"

"Ok, like I need to talk to you about something...it's...well...it-", said Stiles getting shy.

"What is it, just spit it out, I don't have time for this", replied Derek nonchalantly.

"I love you", said Stiles with determination.

"YEAH, I told y'all that he's a faggot", laughed Erica while walking out from upstairs with Boyd, and Isaac while clapping her hand. "Pay up, I told you all that he was going to confess today 'cause I mean he was so fucking obvious", said Erica cockily.

"Wh- you said that there was no one else in the house", said Stiles feeling attacked.

"Well of course that we were all upstairs listening to your conversation, and betting on you, so big alpha are you going to accept your prince charming's confession?", asked a sarcastic Erica.

"Stilinski, I thought that they were lying when they told me that you love me since you can't possibly be a fag even if you're already a freak, so we made a bet, and guess that they were right, you are totally DISGUSTING", said Derek in a jerky way.

Stiles could feel tears welling up and can barely repress them back "What d-d-do y-you mean?", stuttered the boy.

"Exactly what I said", said Derek before adding"And of course, I decline, in what part do you think of yourself suitable for me? ", laughed the alpha.

"Geez Stiles, you were already a shame to my popularity, but then you just had to be gay", sighed Scott walking through the door accompanied by Allison, Jackson, and Lydia.

"Just get out of here already you dumbass", said a disgusted Jackson "Man, I just hate gays"

"Wh-What about Danny-", said Stiles before getting interrupted by Jackson, "Don't even compare yourself to my best friend, Danny is charming, hot, and most of all not a sorry idiot like you".

"Stiles just get out of here and never come back before I kill you", said an annoyed Derek.

"But the research-", said Stiles before getting interrupted, "That's fine, Lydia got it...oh why you confused...oh my did you actually thought that you were pack? Oh, you totally did...uh-uh don't even try, I can hear your heartbeat getting faster", said Isaac waggling his finger while the rest laughed and mocked Stiles.

Stiles could feel his tears pouring out of him feeling like a loser while Lydia said in a 'I'm so fabulous' way, "Aww Stiles, you were only allowed to run with the pack because of Scott, but then Scott said that he doesn't care, so you are out".

Before stiles could have replied, he felt Derek grabbing his arm roughly and shoving him out of the door before slamming it in his face. He could still hear them laughing and mocking him.

Stiles' POV

I wobbled from the dizziness of what just happened which I still can't believe toward my Jeep and drove back home numb. I opened my door and found out that my dad wasn't home yet, I walked still numb all the way to my room. I look at the mess that is me in the mirror and yes I could see how I ashamed Scott. He is flawless and muscular while I'm scrawny , pale, and moles filled. I'm just so numb, I'm so hurt that I can't even cry . Does anyone cares for me? Why did Scott changed so much? I looked away from the mirror and zoned my gaze on my razor. Yes, I should just leave don't I, just one slash and I can go to my dreamland. I couldn't feel the pain when the sharp blade cut through, I only saw blood flying out, i didn't even feel the impact when I hit the floor.