TEACHER: Class draw a fish!
CLASS: Yes ma'am!
TEACHER: Pedro, why is your drawing very dirty?
PEDRO: Ma'am, bagoong po yan."
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Ma'am, yesterday you said it's H to O.
PARE 1: Oh pare san ka galing?
PARE 2: Sa libing ng byenan ko.
PARE 1: Oh bat ganyan itsura moh? Puro ka sugat at dumi!
PARE 2: Hirap kasi ilibing lumalaban ehh...
Sa kwarto....
MISIS: Honey luma na ang mga bra ko. Bili mo ako ng bago.
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MISTER: Huwag na honey maliit naman yang boobs mo eh sayang lang ang pera.
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MISIS: Eh, bakit ikaw naka brief ka?
;
;
Eh, di sinayang mo lang ang pera!!!
~wahaha
TEACHER: Ano ang ating pambansang hayop? Nagsisimula sa letter "K".
STUDENT: Kuto?
TEACHER: Mali, nagtatapos sa letter W!
STUDENT: Kutow!
TEACHER: Mali, may sungay to.
STUDENT: Demonyong kutow!
TEACHER: GET OUT!
TITSER: Juan late ka na nman, lagi na lang! Feeling mo bright ka! Ok tingnan natin, who's our National Hero?
JUAN: Jose Rizal mam!
TITSER: Nakatsamba ah!
JUAN: Ikaw mam, kilala mo si SONYA?
TITSER: Hindi, sino sya?
JUAN: Yan kasi puro ka aral, kabet yon nang asawa mo!
NOEL: ipapangalan ko sa aking anak " leon " baliktad ng Noel.
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NINO: sa akin onin baliktad ng nino.
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TOTO: wag niyo akong maisali-sali dyan sa usapan niyo!
A Husband came home 4AM and saw his wife in bed with another man
His wife shouted at him,
"Where have you been?"
HUSBAND: "Who is that man?!?"
WIFE: "Grabe ka! Dont change the topic!!"
JUAN: San gnagawa ang uling?
PEDRO: Sa coal center!
PEDRO: Ano twag sa yaya ni Nora?
JUAN: Maid of Aunor!
