When walking alone I normally end up just blocking out everything going on.
But not today.
Today my mind was like a hyperactive locomotive that's speeding onto a bridge hundreds of feet above any ground. What I know now is that this so called bridge was torn down and I've been heading down a path dammed to go off a cliff.
The air feels so abrasive and cold on my pale white skin and I just want to go home and push out the entire world for an hour, maybe a day, maybe a week, and if everything goes well I can block it all out forever.
"Dan! Dan!" yells a unfirmiliar voice. I turn around slowly and give a sort of death stare so whoever it is gets the hell off my back.
He is super pale kid, a senior like me I'm guessing, he also has a long thin face with lines permantley left from a nearly constant smile and black fringe sweeps across his forhead.
"What" I respond spitfully not wanting to talk to this senior presumably from my school.
"Dan! We have bio and video production together, Phil? Remember?"
"No not really."
"Well I really need notes for the bio test and no one else has any notes, you got any?"
"Only at my house," I respond and start to turn and walk away.
"Great! Then I'll follow you and maybe we could study?" he practically skips to my side and smiles, immediately jumping into conversation.
He blathers off speaking and asking questions that I respond at random "I don't know" or "eh" or "it's not that unique" and he just keeps going on for ETERNITY. Ok maybe not ETERNITY but a really long time.
We walk into my super rachet looking house. The floorboards are peeled up and the only thing in our fridge is a few apples with brown dents all around their edges.
I grab one for myself and hand one to Phil who smiles but as soon as he thinks I'm not looking he scrunches his face in digust over the Apple and my house.
We head down steep wooden stairs to the unfinished basement, and my bedroom.
Everything is a mess. Clothes scattered everywhere and papers from quick drawings and school work cover my floor in a white and black crinckling carpet.
"Nice...uh...place.." says Phil smiling strangely and kinda lifting up his lip in disgust.
"Sorry..."
"Don't appologize Dan Howell" he gives me a genuine smile and tilts his head, grining ear to ear.
Now let's get this straight. I'm not gay. But I've never dated either.. But as soon as I see that goofy smile pinned on his face and his piercing blue eyes scrunched happily my heart sinks into a hole that melts into the floor and I feel invincible.
****
'Just getting notes and studying' turned into sitting on my bed and talking for hours.
"Ok favorite manga?" Phil says laying on his stomach and holding his head in his hands, his elbows digging into the feathered confeter.
"Menga?"
"Wait you don't know what Manga is?"
I nod no and his face enlightens as he pulls out a cracked I phone and starts furiously typing.
He pulls up a picture of a drawing. It's got a really distinct style. Sorta like cartoons but a lot cooler.
He pulls out a book with bright pink shinny letters saying OURON HIGH SCHOOL with a bunch of hot guys in that same style.
He hands it to me and shows me how to properly read this 'Manga' and then I sorta lose track of time.
We sit there and mumble about the characters and he tells me the best animes (which I learned are like animated Mangas) and then at about 7 he looks around paniced.
"It's 7!" his heart is beating out of his chest
"Yes. Congrats you have eyes and can read."
"Oh shut up you spork!" says Phil and he smiles for one second then goes straight back to panic.
Without a word he burts up stairs and out the door. Leaving me in silence with this Manga and a sort of hole in my chest.
