Ache

I stand now, ready to jump.

Ready to end my lifes.

Yes life(s).

There are two.

My hope is that by ending this one, the other one will cease to exist too.

but let me rewind.

6 months earlier:

I awoke with tears streaming down my face, and my purple comforter and sheets drenched in terrified sweat. But I didn't know why. In the whole 16 years of my existence, I've never remembered my dreams. But I know they horrify me.

When I was little, my mother would wake me up at night, because I had woken her up with my screaming. However the moment that I became consciously aware of anything my dream was forgotten. I've been taken to therapists and doctors and nobody can figure it out.

Wow, I've only told you the one flaw of my life. How about some good things? Well I'm a cheerleader for my school, I'm very popular in a nice way, and I'm a straight A student. In some classes, I'm advanced a year. I live in a normal sized, modern house with my mom, dad, and little sister Izzy. Izzy is no annoying sister either, she's a cute little 7 year old who never whines or complains and I love her to death.  I love all my family to death. Like I said before, my sleeping or dreaming problem -whatever you want to call it- is my life's only flaw.

So I got out of bed, not even trying to remember because I know I won't, and undressed hopping into the shower. I have a bathroom connected to my bedroom so I didn't bother locking the door. I washed my hair and body in record time and quickly got my hair dried and my outfit picked out: Short-shorts, a neon pink tank top and a black half shirt to go over the tank top. The black half shirt said 'wreck less' in neon pink lettering. I got dressed in a hurry. Why was I in such a rush? Oh, I ONLY had a date with my wonderful boyfriend, the star quarterback of our school... ! Did I forget to mention that earlier? Whoops.

I heard the doorbell ring and I bounded down the carpeted stairs. Dad had answered the door and let Louis in. Mom and dad both knew Louis, and approved of him and todays date. He was a senior, two years older than me, but my parents still didn't care. I know, my parents are really cool.

___________________

My day went by in a blur. I had a romantic picnic with Lou in a beautiful meadow. We mostly talked but other activities were in action too. I got home 1-ish and spent the rest of my day watching T.V. with mom (chick-flicks of course) and later went to the movies. We had just arrived home from the movies and I decided to get ready for bed early. I was in my over sized T-shirt, ready to enter my forgotten dream sleep when I remember something. I forgot to take the garbage out!!!!

With much annoyance I trudged downstairs and out the front door into the chilly autumn air. It was pitch black as the moon was only a sliver in the night sky. I quickly hauled the big garbage can from the back of the house to the front curb. Finally placing the garbage can in the right spot, I should be jogging back to the front door, mumbling something about just always leaving the trash can in the front, but I stood there. I was paralyzed. In front of me was a silvery shadow, that rooted me down to this one spot. It soon vanished without a trace, but not before mumbling one word that would change my entire existence: Remember.