Sal turned to me as we sat in the car. "Ok, so Quinn and Murray are going to be at the house. Joe lives with his wife across town but he'll be over tomorrow. I didn't think you would want to be too overwhelmed straight off."
I nodded. "Do they know I'm coming?"
I sighed as he shook his head. "I knew if I told them they would ask why and I didn't think that it should come from me. You don't mind, do you?"
I shook my head. "No, it's fine. Urgh, that is going to be one fun conversation. Come on, let's go. We can't sit here all night." I smiled as Sal squeezed my hand.
We kept the conversation light for the duration of the journey, Sal telling me about the show and how things were going with it.
"So when do I get to see you guys do your thing?" I asked. I had seen their sketches, Sal sent me links to every video they had put on YouTube and I had loved them. It was so...them. It was the only way to sum it up.
"The day after tomorrow, if you're up for it?" I grinned and nodded. I needed to enjoy myself, relax and forget about everything.
Soon enough, we reached the house. The second I opened the car door I heard banging and shouting. I raised my eyebrows at Sal but he just shook his head and laughed, as he took my hand to guide me inside. Opening the front door, the noise was louder. I giggled quietly as I could imagine the scene on the other side of the living room door. I opened the door and peered around the corner and was met with an interesting sight. The pair, that could only be Brian and James, were wrestling in the middle of the floor. I say wrestling, by this point it was more just a tangle of limbs with the odd girly scream thrown in.
Neither of them had noticed me approaching. I crouched down next to them and whispered "I think Brian wins this one." Both of them froze and their heads spun round as I stood.
"Jessie?" Quinn asked quietly.
"In the flesh." I replied, smiling slightly.
I watched and laughed as they tried to untangle themselves from each other. Murray got free first and launched himself at me. "What are you doing here?"
"Surprise!!" I whispered. I untangled myself from Murray's arms and looked at him. Apart from the lack of hair, he looked exactly the same. I turned to Quinn, who was just stood watching me. I raised my eyebrows at him and he frowned, before turning on his heel and storming out of the room.
"Okaaay. Was not expecting that." I turned to Sal. "What was that about?"
Sal shrugged. "Not sure, I'll go talk to him. You want a drink or anything?" I asked for a coke and settled down to talk to Murray.
"Ok, Murr. I know what you want to ask, but can you wait til Q comes back? I really don't want to have to repeat myself."
He nodded. "Missed you, Jess." I squeezed his arm and rested my head on his shoulder. "Missed you too, Ferret."
We sat in silence until Sal came back in, with Quinn in tow. Brian held his hands out for me to take and who was I to say no to a Q hug. He was the only person that could give hugs better than Sal could, and I'll be honest – I had missed them. I gave a small smile as he pulled me from the sofa and drew me into a tight hug.
I sighed contentedly as he wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and rested my head against his chest, listening to his steady heart beat. "I'm sorry" he whispered into my hair. After a couple of minutes he gave me a squeeze, bringing me out of my reverie. I blushed when I realised that I had totally zoned out in the comfort of his arms.
Sal cleared his throat and handed me a glass of coke. "There's Jamesons in that, thought you might need it." I smiled gratefully and took a large gulp, savouring the burn of the whiskey as it went down. "You ready to do this?" He asked me quietly.
I nodded. "Gotta get it out the way." He pulled me down onto the sofa next to him, and I curled into his side, wrapping my arms around his arm and resting my head on his shoulder as I spoke.
I took a deep breath. "Ok, before I start, you both need to promise me that you won't interrupt, that you'll let me finish. Because if I stop, I won't be able to carry on." I looked at the Murr and Quinnand they both nodded silently, looks of worry crossing their faces.
"Alright..." And so I told them. Everything. How I was sexually assaulted by my cousin at a family party. How it continued for months, every time I saw him. How he threatened me, told me that noone would believe me if I said anything. That the family would side with him if it came down to it. He was a respectable member of the community, after all. How it came to a head last Christmas with him forcing himself on me. My panicked call to Sal, him convincing me to go to the police. The subsequent court case, not guilty verdict and my whole family disowning me and calling me a lying whore. And finally, my arrival in New York. "That was last week. I couldn't stay. The looks I would get from people. No-one believed me. I did the only thing I could think of, I called Sal and he told me to come out here. So here I am."
I wiped the tears that had fallen while I spoke from my eyes and looked up at the same them. Both of their faces were contorted in anger. Murray was physically shaking with fury. He calmly stood and left the room, I flinched when I heard the sound of him punching the door. I looked back to Quinn. His eyes were shining and he didn't seem to be able to catch his breath. I glanced at Sal and murmured "Go and check on James."
The second Sal was out of the room I flew off the sofa and knelt at Quinn's knees. I knew he would take it the hardest. "Q? Brian? Look at me." I whispered.
He raised his eyes to me. "Is that why you stopped calling?" He asked quietly.
I nodded. "I knew if I spoke to you, to either of you, I would break down. And I needed to be strong. I had to keep it together to get through it."
"But you spoke to Sal, you told him."
"I know, but that was different. You know that."
"I am so sorry you had to go through that alone, Jessie. I swear if I ever set eyes on that...that monster...I will kill him with my bare hands." Brian growled.
I placed my hand on his arm. "You won't have to. I'm never going back there again. My family...well, they made it perfectly clear who they believe, I don't want anything to do with them anymore."
Brian looked at me. "What will you do? Where will you go?"
I shrugged. "I took a sabbatical from work, and it's the summer break in a few weeks anyway. So I'm free until September. Maybe I'll have worked it out by then. For now, you're stuck with me I'm afraid."
I pushed his arms out of the way and climbed into his lap, wrapping myself around him. "How are you really, Jessie? Honestly."
"I'm...dealing. Some days I'm alright, I feel like I'm getting somewhere, moving on with my life. Then others, I just want to curl up in a ball and die. My emotions are all over the place, sometimes I cry at the simplest of things. Other times I feel...empty." I ran my hands over my face and through my hair. "Being here, I feel so much better already. I feel lighter. Does that make sense?"
Brian jiggled his knee, bouncing me on his lap. "You don't feel lighter." He said quietly, and sniggered.
I laughed out loud. "See? This is why I needed to be here! God, I missed you guys so much." I threw my arms back around him and kissed his temple.
I looked up to see Murray and Sal coming back into the room. Giving Quinn's hand a quick squeeze I stood and gave Murray a hug. "I'm alright dude, I promise." I whispered in his ear.
I sat back down on the sofa, wedged between Q and Murr. I looked at each of them, and across at Sal and I felt safe. These are my real family I thought to myself, and smiled. "Ok boys, enough with the heavy shit. Someone needs to bring me some food and some more whiskey before I start ripping arms off." I announced after we had been sat in silence for far too long.
Sal laughed and jumped up. "Pizza?" He asked. I nodded. "The usual?" I grinned and nodded again. I turned to the others. "Come on then you two, we have a lot to catch up on. Tell me everything. I want to know about New York, the group, Joey...any girls??" I winked. Murray smiled at that. "Ooh, has Murr got a girlfriend??" I teased.
He went on to tell me all about Molly, how they met and what she was like. Quinn was still single. When I asked him why, he just shrugged. "There's been no-one here that interests me." He said simply.
"You mean there's no-one that will put up with your shit?" I joked. He just shrugged again. I went to press him on the matter but Sal burst through the door with 4 pizzas and a crate of beer, effectively ending our conversation.
We sat around for the rest of the night, talking and drinking and laughing. It was nice and it was familiar. And I was already the happiest I had been in a long while.
