The painful truth... (A Phanfiction)

Hello

My name is Phillip Michael Lester, I'm a 20 year old male. My life was a mess. I was deeply in love with my best friend Dan. He wasn't gay, his love for Jennifer Laurence proved that.

I'm ashamed to say that I started drugs to cope with my problems. Dan doesn't know, I go out secretly every night to get them.

Everyone thinks I'm some happy guy on the Internet, but it's really the exact opposite. I'm depressed, I'm lonely, I'm confused. My life is a wreck.

But Dan doesn't question, he doesn't understand and he never will. He probably hasn't even noticed that I've changed. I hate myself for this.

I pulled my spliff from under my bed and lit it. I smoked it and watched as the ashes slowly fell off onto my green and blue bed sheets. They were too bright. Everything in my room I bought before I started experiencing these 'feelings'. Every time I go out shopping I feel almost needy to buy black paint and carpets. My curtains always used to be open to let the sun in, not anymore.

Do you want to know what hurts the most? What sparks the depression in my soul? The phandom.

I despise it. I know I should love them with all my heart but all I feel is burning hatred. They put out the Phanfictions which Dan always laughs at and it breaks my heart. I sound like a sociopath. To be honest I wish I was one so I could be burning in hell right now.

All these feelings were just a small fraction on everything I feel nowadays...