All Because a Pack of Cigarettes (boyxboy)

Chapter 11: Try to Hold it Together.

Authors Note: So heyo. I'm back. I don't know how long it's gonna be really sad but hopefully it'll get better. So the song is What Do You Want From Me by Adam Lambert and the picture is Nicholas in the hospital bed. Please enjoy and vote, comment, share, etc.
Xoxo, Space Prince.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Nich's PoV: I was done. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I didn't want to, honestly. Aleczander didn't want me. My mother didn't want me. I'm pretty sure not even Lizzie wanted me. As I started to self loath for the millionth time since Alec walked out the door, the doctor came in to check out my vitals.

"Hey there Nicholas, how are you feeling right now?" The doctor asked me as he went to check my IVs and all the rest of the random cords attached to me.

I shrugged, because it was true. I didn't know how I was feeling. I didn't feel anything, honestly. I heard him moving around some more before asking him the same thing I've asked him every time he's came in, "Has he came yet?"

The doctor sighed, shaking his head before checking something off on his chart.

I continued my self-loathing until I heard someone clearing their voice. I looked up to see the doctor looking at me. I looked back down and waited for him to start speaking.

He sighed before speaking, "Nicholas, I have a question for you."

I gulped because nodding my head, awaiting his questions. There is never just one question.

"Okay," he took a moment before continuing, almost like he was trying to figure out what to say. "Nicholas, what if we put you on medication?"

I sat there for a moment, soaking in what he just said to me. "Wh-what do you m-mean?" I think that subconsciously, I knew exactly what he meant, but I just didn't want to believe he was serious.

"Well, I have already informed you that we ran some tests," he told me, taking a seat in the chair next to my bed.

That's where he sat. That was before everything went to absolute hell. I don't even know what happened! It had to be me.... It's always me.

"Well Nicholas, when we informed you of your condition, we only gave you the basics. After we saw your case, we ran more tests. Nicholas, your case of schizophrenia is one of the worst cases I have seen in years. There is only one other person that their condition is as bad as yours and he seems to be going better on the medicine we've been giving him."

He just wants us gone.

We only want what's best for you Nich.

You should have tried harder Nich.

No wonder he doesn't want you anymore.

I look at the doctor for a moment before saying, "I-it is?"

He nods before taking a look at his clipboard and checking off boxes. "I mean, I would imagine that since this is the first time you are hearing of your condition, that you've never taken medicine for this."

I interjected his words with a nod and a "There's nothing wrong with me."

The doctor looks up at me before going back down to his clipboard. He signs before saying, "Nicholas, you're going to have to understand this. There is something that is wrong, and I might be able to help you."

"What will you give me?" I asked in the most monotone voice I've ever heard.

"I want to give you something called 'Aripiprazole', and raise your dosage. But here is the problem: you also tested with very high depression and I can not give you Aripiprazole if you have depression." He told me this with the most pity filled face I have ever seen.

"So you can't help me?" I say, snapping at him.

No one can help you.

You're a lost cause. Always have always will.

You should have bled more.

Alec wouldn't even miss you.

"I-I..... I will try my very best to help you." He told me in a sorrowful voice that sounded like the therapist I had in third grade when I threw a rock at my teacher and everyone thought I was mental.

I stayed quiet for a moment, not moving. I don't even remember if I was breathing or not.

"Nicholas? I need you to tell me how you're feeling about this." The doctor said to me in a sad but urgent tone.

I turned my head towards him with tears running down my face and simply said, "I just want Alec."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Author's Note: HEYO! Okay so hello, hi, it's good to see you all. Yes even you in the back. I missed you guys. Here is a new part and I'm sorry it's so short but I just haven't been in the mood to write lately which is weird because I love writing. Anywho, I missed you guys a lot. But please like, comment, share, etc. AND PLEASE ENJOY!
Have a day/night,
Xoxo, Your Friendly Neighbourhood Space Prince.