Obsession, Wanting you (BoyxBoy) [ON HOLD]

chapter 8: Mother

For those who didn't read the last chapter because of sexual actions:

the last chapter ended up when Jack's mother surprised them while they were (almost) having sex.

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The moment was lost.

I couldn't touch him anymore or feel his rushed breath on my skin and that was what hurt me the most. I wanted the moment back; I wanted it back so much that I could hardly stand it. I felt sick to my stomach now, though.

I watched everything in slow motion. I watched Michael snatch up his gown and run past my mother and out the door. He was out of my hands, out of my sight, out of my reach. I felt myself reach for someone who wasn't there. I clutched nothing and brought my hand back to my chest. I was surprised that my heart was beating like a hammer in my chest. I could feel it deep in my bones, the constant, sad thumping. I wanted it to stop. I wanted everything to just stop for only a moment. I wanted Michael back. I wanted our moment back.

I turned to my mother and found her standing at the door way with her mouth hanging open. Maybe I was selfish, maybe I was wrong, but at this moment nothing mattered, except my sweet Michael. What was he doing to me? I couldn't even think straight because of him. I stood up and turned to my mother. All I wanted was Michael. I wanted to get this out of the way so I could find him.

Thoughts of him clouded my mind and I walked over to my mom in a daze. Her glossy blond hair hung over her shoulders like spun gold and her large blue eyes sparkled and glossed with unshed tears. Her bottom lip was trembling and so were her hands.

She looked like a fragile leaf, withering in the wind. I didn't care much. I loved her…but I didn't care. I looked past her, in hopes of seeing my Michael. No such luck.

"Please, tell me what's going on," my mother begged before she placed one of her hands on her forehead. She looked pale. I didn't want her to pass out because I would probably just step over her body and go searching for Michael.

My stomach did a flip and I backed away from her, something was wrong with me, horribly wrong. I wouldn't do that to my mother, would I? I felt a lump in my throat and it hurt to swallow. Suddenly I needed to sit down. I needed to think about something other than Michael, which would be hard. I took my mother's colds hands and led her to my bed. She stumbled then plopped down on the bed next to me with her mouth still hanging open. She really was a beautiful woman. She turned to me and her brow wrinkled in what seemed like worry and care. I wanted to extend my emotions to her, but sadly the only thing that was making me feel was Michael. I couldn't change that.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. It took me awhile to find a starting place. But when I did, everything that I had been hiding came tumbling out of me. Every word I had vowed never to speak, was spoken. Every desire, every lie, all the confusion, anything and everything slid past my lips. It felt good, it felt so damn good. I began to cry because the relief felt so sweet and so great. The heaviness of my burden was lifting off of my chest and I could finally breathe again without fear.

Fat raindrops began to plop against the window and thunder rumbled the sky. I could see angry grey clouds covering the sun and blocking out it's beautiful rays. The sky seemed to be matching up with the situation that was playing out in my life. I looked back to my mom and watched a tear slowly roll down her face and plop on to the bed. I hated when she cried.

I looked away from her and suddenly she pulled me into her arms. She smelled of roses and honey. I pulled her closer and let myself sink into the softness of her. I squeezed her tight and shut my eyes so I could imagine something else. Her hair brushed against me and I sighed.

"Mommy…" I whispered. I was surprised. I hadn't called her that in many years.

"That poor boy, I can't believe his father was beating him, how could you not tell me?" my mother asked softly.

I looked up quickly and my arms slid from around her.

"I also can't believe you think I wouldn't accept you for being gay. I am your mother." She sounded so hurt that I felt my face burning with shame.

"I did my best!" I yelled before I stood up and threw my hands in the air as if I were giving up. "I did my best to keep him safe and to keep myself safe, it was too much!" I yelled before I sunk to my knees, exasperated. "Don't blame me…" I whispered. I felt my voice crack at the end and I realized my throat was dry.

"I am going to call the cops," my mother told me with her eyes wide. I felt my heart start to pound again.

"He'll lie, mom. He'll say he never put a hand on Michael and Michael will back his father up because he is scared! He'll say anything to make sure his father doesn't start beating the crap out of him! If Michael is forced to deny it, then it will be harder to get him away from that man and I can't let that happen mom, I just can't" I shouted. I was on my feet now and my fists were clinched.

My mother looked afraid. I hoped she knew I would never hurt her, no matter how pissed the fuck off I was. I wanted to punch something, but definitely not her. I turned away and looked at the ground.

"I'll never forgive you if you do that to Michael, I'll spend the rest of my life resenting you, is that what you want mother - for me to resent you?" I asked coldly. "Do you want me to resent you?" I asked again. I felt desperate now for some reason. I was five seconds away from falling to my knees again and begging her not to call the cops.

"Go find him, bring him back and make sure he realizes he isn't in trouble for being here. Make sure he knows we aren't going to hurt him," my mother said before she stood to her feet. She was so petite I could pick her up in my arms and not even break a sweat, so I did.

"Thank you, mom!" I shouted before I pulled her close. She chuckled and then sighed a bit before she wrapped her arms around me. I set her down on her feet, turned away from her and slid into the pair of jeans and t-shirt lying on the floor. I grabbed my keys off of my bedside desk and started towards the door.

"Just don't have sex without locking the door," my mother called from behind me.

I blushed and pretended not to hear her.