Derpcraft.

Chapter 1: "Wentches art Fallen!"

Dat Zombeh: Chapter 1 "Wenches Art Fallen"

     Hi! My name is Phillip, I like to kill stuff! Since the zombie outbreak happened  I saw my chance to kill stuff! So my girlfriend Zoey was all like "You never talk to me anymore!" so I said "B*tch, you trippin!" then I slaped her with the back of my hand, our relationship has never been better! I was walking around the zombie infested indian burial ground when there was a zombie that kicked me in the balls for the next 3 hours. I sounded a lot like link afterwards but later my best zombie friend Link bit Zoey and she ate his maggot ridden corpse. I saw this magic potato and told Zoey not to touch it. "Look a magic potato!" I yelled "Where?" said Zoey "There" I said "This one?" said Zoey "No, That one" I pointed to that magic potato. Suddenly Magic potato used SELF- DESTRUCT it was SUPER EFFECTIVE!

     After the explosion zoey died of explosion and greif. I had never dealt with a death in the family so I called my friend Jake. "Hey, Jake" I said "Who the F*ck is this?" Jake yelled "Me" I said "Who are YOU?!" said Jake "Its-a-Me!" I said immatating a fat itallian man. "Oh, its you... hi Phillip" Jake said "Zoey's dead." I said "Oh, That sucks I know you loved her to death..." said Jake "Yeah, when that magic potato used SELF- DESTRUCT" said Phillip "Yeah, that potato killed my mom."said Jake "Hey! Lets meet up with Dr. Gaf!" "Gaf? You mean Fa..." "SHHHHHHHHH! He changed his name." So the dynamic duo headed out with only a toothbrush and a supercalafragilistic-o-fire.

     Back in Washington D.C Obama made a new law stating that zombies were the coolest! It was a VERY controversial law so controversial that some people died! So now that its illegal to kill zombies Jake and I went to Gaf's House. "WHO NUKED MICROAISA!" Yelled Gaf. "IT WAS SEAN THE SCUMBAG!" said Jake. "Sean!?" exclamied Gaf, Gaf was eating a Grilled Cheeze Stick Sandwitch. He had a heart attack then he told me to go on without him. So I shot him in the balls with a harpoon and that was the end of that part of the story. When I walked outside I saw Zoey and Link! "Hey Zoey!" I yelled, She saw Gaf on the floor with a harpoon in his hips and said "Gaf had a heart attack huh?" "Howed you know?!" I said "Those new 'Grilled Cheeze Stick Sandwitches' came out today, Newsstuff.net said its nickname is 'Super Heart Attack Orgy of Sexy Cheeze Sticks Full of Calories and Death'." She said "I love the SHAOOSCSFOCAD" said Jake, I looked over at Mc Fatties and saw Ronald Mc Fattie. He was a zombie. Back in Germany Hitler had rissen from the dead and as soon as he came up and he died, A U.S solder was Stationed there in case a zombie outbreak happened and a zombie Hitler arose so he preformed his duty. That was the end of Zombie Hitler's rule over the whole world. Back in D.C Obama died of murder. Machelle Obama became the first straght female president. Soon after that the zombies took over the world.