Awaken

Part One

     Was this the cure you had hoped for? You knew she needed help. You knew her mind was slipping. You had no idea what was wrong with your daughter, so you forced her to go to counseling and therapy.
     The doctors told you she was depressed, but they never told her. It was as if she were terminally ill and had a mere thirty days of life left. Well, that life-expectancy wasn't too far from the truth.
     Look at you. You didn't mean to kill your daughter, did you? That doesn't matter. She's gone and you can't help but feel it's all your fault. You are not wrong. It is entirely your fault and you know it.
     When you hear her name, you break down into a puddle of tears. You are filled with regret every time you see a mother and her daughter laughing playfully. Every night, just around ten o'clock, you begin drowning yourself in copious amounts of booze, trying very hard to forget what you've done. You won't forget. You know you will never forget.
     Ten o'clock is when you found her body. Lying cold and dead next to an empty bottle of pills and a half-empty bottle of the same vodka you drink every night. It's like clockwork. It's as if every night you drink in hopes of ending up just as she did. Cold and dead on the floor.
     Put that knife down. She didn't need a knife, why should you? You want to go in the same way she did. That's right. Oh, there are no pills left? Maybe because she took them all. How selfish of her, not leaving any for her mother.
     Think back twenty years. You are eighteen and already looking forward to your family. That was your first mistake. You loved him, and he ran off when you told him you were pregnant. You two can make it on your own, right? Wrong.
     No one ever truly loved you. Not even her when she was alive. She's been gone a month now, but it feels like years. I'm surprised you're still here. What's that? You don't want to be here? Then do it. Leave here. Reunite yourself with the daughter you failed. Drown in your dreams of a family, living in a happy home. The dreams you never saw succeed, because you failed. Swallow each memory with her, just as she swallowed all those pills.
     Now wake up.