Secret Ambitions of the Dancer

UNEDITED

Do you know what the end of the world feels like? No, it hasn't happened yet so you wouldn't know. Just like I haven't gotten a decent grade on my report card.

It's not that I don't push myself. Believe me, I do. I just can't seem to reach everyone's else's high expectations.

"I'm very dissatisfied, Daniels." my teacher said as she passed me my report card. Just another one to add to the collection.

I carelessly shoved the paper into my bag and mimicked her voice.

"What was that?" she asked me with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing" I replied a bit too quickly.

She kept blabbering on about something that I had no interest in listening to. I only drew on my paper, this is what I did, every single day. There wasn't one day where I didn't follow my routine. Walk to class, ignore teacher, doodle.

That phrase, "Saved by the bell" was my favorite. Maybe because the bell just coincidentally rang, and cut off my teacher. It was no doubt that I was first to run towards the door. I stepped out of utter boredom and entered a gruesome fight to the death. Winner was the person who survives the stampede of hormonal teenagers headed for the cafeteria.

I strive to win this battle.

I shoved and climbed my way through the herd and bolted down the stairs. I could already hear the laughter behind me. People were having fun. How could they? Do they even realize how many things are going on? Everything was completely messed up and these drones don't care about it.

All they care about is the latest fashions or the most expensive new gadgets. When there are people out there that struggle to have food everyday. I don't know how these people can live knowing theres someone out there suffering. My parents say I care too much, I say im just acting humane.

I walked into the cafeteria and immediately made my way to the yard. I didn't need food, my fuel was the stashed gummy bears somewhere hidden deep in my book bag. Under a bunch of textbooks I didn't even use. My little brother would hunt me down for my gummy bears. He's the only sane one in the family, other than me of course.

The noise in the cafeteria was actually comforting. It makes me feel like with all the noise, no one can hear my thoughts. And though no one can hear your thoughts anyways, it made me feel like I at least had that to myself.

"Settle down!" I heard a woman cry, the group of snotty pretty boys were having some sort of meaningless cheer session that was actually disturbingly rowdy.

"Bay, I found this." said a familiar voice in the crowd. They passed me a crumbled piece of paper. One I hated the sight of.

"I don't want it." I replied keeping my eyes away from the paper. "Phill, I said no." I added shoving the report card away. "It's ugly."

"You need it." Phillip replied.

"No."

"Yes. What was it doing on the ground anyways?" he said with yet another dissatisfied look.

"It must have fallen." I said twiddling my fingers.

"Sure." He said leaning back into a more comfortable position on the table. I took the paper and shoved it into my bag again, this time making sure it didn't fall out. Though I hope it did.

Phillip Lancaster. Best friend, or should I say, protector? Born in New Zealand, lives in Great Britain. Loves boys, rugby, food, and me. Said I was his sister, and he is my older brother. He is sitting next to me, picking at the bottom of his shoe.