I burst through the apartment door and slam it shut, every curse word I know being muttered underneath my breath. I walk into the kitchen, turn on the faucet, and let cool, clear water wash over my hands before splashing it on my face.
"You're so dramatic," Jasper says to me. I don't turn around. I don't have time for her shit today. I take the towel off the hanger and dry my face and walk towards my room.
"What so you're just going to ignore me?" she says. I turn around to retaliate with a sarcastic remark to see jasper slumped on the couch with tears running down her face.
"What wrong?!" I say, concerning filling my voice. I am instantly by her side, all anger and spite drained from my aura. She shakes her head.
"I had a sucky evening."
"Jax?" I ask. She sighs.
"Its not even him, its me. Why am I like this?"
"You don't let people in," I say. "If you did, then he would understand you."
"I tried to let Jamie in," she says.
"Hmph, barely." She stares down at the blanket wrapped around her and I sigh and stare up at the popcorn ceiling.
"Why were you so upset when you came in?" Jasper finally asks me.
"Drew was being an asshole."
"Ok sooooo? What's new?" she retorts.
"Nothing I guess," I say. "He just drives me crazy sometimes. And tonight, he was just over asshole-ish about Jamie and they were being all flirty it was disgusting." Jasper shakes her head.
"Your're in love with her."
"Come again?"
"You, Albie, are in love with her, Jamie," She says speaking slowly.
"Why-why would you say that?" I say taken aback.
"Why else would you get so jealous when she talks to other guys?"
"I'm not jealous of Drew," I say annoyed. "I hate him, he's a fucking douche bag. I wouldn't care if it was someone who was actually likable."
"That's not true. You still would be annoyed, I've seen it."
"No you haven't," I snap.
"Yea I have," she says. "I've seen how jealous you get when guys flirt with her."
"That's not true," I mumble, mostly to myself. Jasper just roles her eyes.
"Even still," I continue. That doesn't mean I'm in love with her. I love her... like a sister. She's my best friend."
"Whatever Albie," Jasper says. "All I know is that I see the way you look at her."
"I'm gay!" I say angrily. "Are you sure this isn't just you making up stuff so that I will be straight? Because that's basically all you want, right?" Jasper rolls her eyes.
"Please, Iv'e long since gotten over you being gay. I don't care. You're the one denying your feelings for Jamie."
"I'm the one? Really?" I say standing up. "You've been denying your feelings for Jax since day one!"
"Oh shut up," she says angrily.
"No. You can't even talk to people without almost getting into a fight. You never let anyone in. You are not allowed to tell me how I feel or what I should or should not do." Jasper glares angrily at me and stands up. She walks to her room and slams the door behind her.
I groan, slump back down on the couch, and run my fingers through my hair. It's not that I don't think Jasper is right, I just don't want her to be.
After awhile, I get up and walk into Jasper's room. She is lying on her back against her pillows watching some dumb reality show on TV.
"Ever heard of knocking you fucktrard?" she says.
"Shut up I need to tell you something," I say.
"I don't care,"
"I kissed her."
"What!?" she says.
"You heard me," I say quietly.
"No fucking way..." she says shaking her head. "I told you so."
"Don't tell me that," I say sitting on the side of her bed.
"Wow.." she says sitting up and turning off the TV. "So what was her reaction?"
"Shocked."
"Yea I bet."
"I don't known how I feel about her, ya know? I'm supposed to be gay so I feel like I need to stick to that status quo."
"You're not supposed to be anything, you're supposed to be whoever the hell you want to because its your life and your body."
"I just don't want to deal with everyone's bullshit about it," I sigh.
"Wait, so you're saying you're straight?"
"No! Hell no..I'm saying that I'm not attracted to women, ever really, but for Jamie...its different. I wasn't attracted to her before, but over time...she's become desirable to me."
"So weird," Jasper says scrunching her eyebrows together. "Jamie turned you straight."
"I'm not straight," I say.
"Yea yea."
"So here's the thing. I don't know what to do now. I feel like I just messed up Jamie and I 's friendship."
"Do you not want to be in a relationship with her?"
"No, Yes....I don't know..."
"Tell her."
"Tell her what?"
"Tell her that you don't know and that for now you'd like to keep it neutral," she says shrugging. I nod slowly.
"How are you this good at giving advice but so bad at applying it to your own life?" Jasper just rolls her eyes.
"Come on Jasp, you've never liked Jax like you've liked other guys."
"Jax isn't going to like me back," she says. "I'm not like the girls he's into. They all look like models and wear makeup and curl their hair. They're all popular and pretty and stuff. I can't compete with that. I can barely have a conversation with him, you said so yourself."
"I didn't mean that, I was angry," I sigh.
"I know, but that doesn't change that its true."
"Just talk to him," I say encouragingly. "You don't have to flirt, but you'd be surprised, a simple conversation goes a long way." Jasper nods and looks down.
"Yea..."
"How bout' this" I say readjusting myself on her bed. "If I talk to Jamie, you have to talk to Jax." Jasper scrunches her face up.
"Ugh, do I have to?"
"Yes" I say.
"Fine," she says shrugging her shoulders. "Its not like I have anything to lose."
