Unbreakable Hearts

~Saturday~

"Good morning Steven, happy anniversary. I love you to moon and back. You are my best friend and I wouldn't want to spend this life with anybody else by my side." I whispered to my husband as we lie awake in our bed. He told me"Good morning Brianna, I love you too. My faith has never been strong, but you are a blessing in my life and I will always thank the Good Lord for bringing us together.  I got dressed and walked downstairs and I saw breakfast already on the table. "You made me French toast. That's my favorite." " I know it is. Eat up we have a lot to do today, it's already 10:00. " I wasn't going to question what his plans were.  "Hey, I have to run to the store and get some charcoal for the grill. I love you and I am not promised my next breath but as long as I'm breathing, you mean the world to me and always will." "Wait! You don't want your kiss goodbye? And before you do go, I have to tell you big and wonderful news. I'm pregnant and you're going to be a father."

He'd always said that to me before he left to go anywhere,but today, when he said it, I felt scared as if something were to  really  happen to him. I felt nervous, my hands were shaking, palms were sweating as if I was guilty about something. Then, I heard the phone ring and of course, it scared me half to death. I picked it up and it was a number I didn't recognize, so I picked it up, trying to cover my worries and fear for my husband. I did my best to stay positive and trust that he was safe. It turned out, my instincts were right.

"Hello?" "Good morning is this Mrs.Feilds I am speaking to?" Asked a gentile nurse."This is she" I responded hesitatly. "Is there something I can help you with?" "Hello, my name is Rita and I am from the Lincoln Memorial Hospital in Jefferson. I've called you to inform you that your husband is in the hospital and he's in a coma and you need to come down here immediately. He was involved in a car crash... Drunk driver hit him and he ran into a telephone pole. Luckily a paramedic was nearby getting groceries, or he wouldn't have made it."

In a panic, I rushed to the hospital and waited in the emergency room for nearly an hour before they let me see him. I prayed and cried hoping he'd be okay. Deep down, I feared the worst. I was worried. I didn't know what to do. My head started to spin. A series  of thoughts scrambled in my head like ,"He can't leave me now, we have a child to raise!"" We were suposed to grow old together, you can't leave me like this!" My drive was two hours, but totally worth it if it were the last time I'd  see him. It devastated me, just the thought of him gone. I could barely pay attention to the road, i almost crashed on the way there. It seemed longer than two hours for the drive. I waited in the lobby for another hour and a half, playing on my phone asking my friends to pray for me because I had a good feeling  that I was was going to be a new mom on her own and whenever I'd think about my little daughter, and how she would grow up without a dad, would break my heart. The thought would destroy me, so I figured the best thing to do was prayers. I prayed myself. I know God hears all prayers but he's very busy and hope he'd respond to mine, even though I have not been the most religious of the people. A little while later, the nurse came out from the doors and called my name and told me to follow her until the room.

As the nurse walked me into the E.R, I couldn't even begin to care about my worries. My stove was left on. I wanted to visit Steven. The nurse lead my to a room that read 813. The walk was excruciatingly long from the lobby to there, which meant that every second passing was a second less before his heart wanting to give up. I arrived in his room his heart rate sped up back to normal. He recognized I was there. I sang him his favorite song over and over with everything in me in high hopes he'd hear it and not leave me hanging by a thred with a baby on the way. I kicked myself thinking it was my all my fault for letting him go out this morning. I wasn't with him. Instead, I was worried and wondering what dangers he'd face. 

I stayed by his side all night and called my neighbor and asked to turn off my stove for me because I was going to be at the hospital all night.

 Then I began to tell him the stories of how we became us and I began to tell him," It was mid to late August, and a friend whom I'd grown up with, had invited my family to church. I didn't like you much I swore I was never going to fit in. Most of the church was an older audienceand some youth here and there. I sat next to my mom for the first few months and we started to talk. You had a twin and I didn't even know which one you were. I knew your guys' names but not who you were. I won't lie, I thought all your brothers were cuter than you. I assumed that you were going to be the meanest and most disrespectful person I was ever going to meet. You proved me wrong. As time went on, I got warmed up to you. I can't even begin to tell you how much time that I've wasted thinking about you during the long weeks waiting to see your face keeping my hopes up that you'd be there. I still know how to tell you and your twin apart yet. You asked me to marry you in the middle of a sermon. I remember your mom shushed us more than once. Then, after church that day, my mom commented on us being too loud. I thought it was funny. She called me Mrs.Feilds after that. I blushed a bit. She thought it was great and historical, that my face turned so red. Eventually, I just got used to it and didn't and wouldn't even have tried to deny it at that point. That's when I knew I loved you. That night, I had a dream about you and me. We were lying on the couch together cuddled up with our baby sleeping upstairs.  And I of course, eventually fell asleep on the couch in your arms. You wondered if I was awake, because I hadn't said a word in ten minutes or more. You laughed when you realized that I was sleeping, took a picture, then told me to rest up because it was a nap well-dersevered. You left me alone as you heard the baby cry, and you went to take care of her. (Yeah, I heard that) Exactly three years from the night I had that dream, I became your wife. I vowed then, I would be there for you through thick and thin. Sickness and health, but I'd never thought I'd be in this position where I would see you in this state; halfway dead."

I realized I had to get back to the house and pull myself together. It was passed 2:00pm by the time I left the hospital. I was in tears thinking that was the last time I was going to see him not fully dead and I thought about my unborn child. I swear I have never cried so much in my entire life. I spent the rest of the day cleaning and doing the rest of Steven's surprise dinner, even though I knew the dnight  he was going to grill for our anniversary. I called the hospital again for the third time that night, the same nurse I spoke to this morning told me,"Your husband is in the same state he was this afternoon,when you left. He's in a coma and nobody knows when he'll wake up. I promise you, I will call you when I find out if he's improving or getting worse. When people are in comas, they are practically frozen and paralyzed in a  sleep. It could take years for him to recover. It's not definite, it's just when his body gives up or holds on. Sleep well. Goodnight Mrs.Feilds." It was the most horrifying call I've ever had to deal with. I went to bed and fell asleep within five minutes because of all the crying I was doing.