me n my lizard daddy

daddy leafy

It was August 4th and a dumb gurl called Maria was crying because she didn't have a sugar daddy, which is what she asked for on her birthday.

Suddenly, her mother, Shrek broke down the door. He was wearing a beautiful dress made from the skin of his enemies.

"MÀRÎÀ ŸÔÙ DÓÑ'T HÃVË Ã ŠÙGÄR DÂDDŸ BÉĆÂÚŠÊ ŸÖÛRÊ ÅŃ ÊMÒ FÛÇK. ŃØW GÒ PRÄŸ ÏÑ THĘ BÁŚĖMËÑT ŠHĮTHÊAD." Screamed Shrek.

Maria started screaming, "NO DADDY STOP!!!!!!"

This angered Maria's mother, Shrek.

Maria's mother picked her up by her toes and dragged her into the basement.

"Praise the lort motherfucker." Whispered Shrek, as he body slammed Maria onto the floor.

Maria spoke in a voice that could only be compared to Filthy Frank's, "FUCK JESUS, FUCK JESUS MOM. FUCK THAT DUDE."

"kys fucker" spoke Shrek as he closed the door and left Maria in the basement.

Maria started crying and praying to the only God she ever knew, LeafyIsHere.

"I want Leafy to hiss in my ear while I shop at Hot Topic for more emo accessories."

While Maria was crying like the little pissbaby she was, Leafy descended from the heavens.

Leafy attempted to flirt with her. "HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS."

Maria fainted because she had a lizard fetish.