Live While We're Young

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

He replayed the scene in his head over and over. Holy fucking shit. What the hell had he just done? Oh God, he was an awful person. If he didn’t catch her now, and explain himself, he might never get another chance. He sat bolt upright and resolved to chasing after her.

He flew through the halls. He passed quite a few nurses, who, at the sight of him, retreated to sides of the hallway, not wanting to be run over. He burst outside into the sunlight and started yelling her name.

“Lottie! Lottie! Charlotte?” he spun around and around, trying to find her pink Hollister hoodie in the throng of people.

After a solid ten minutes of running through the lobby and the parking lot, he threw himself down on a bench.

“Oh God, I’ve ruined everything. Everything. She’ll never speak to me again. I’m a fucking idiot. I’m such a twat. She was perfect, and I messed it up. Me and my fucking anger issues. Oh God,” he muttered to himself, rubbing his hands over his face.

“You said you’d always be there for me, no matter what I did. The anger I can deal with, I guess. It’s the lies I can’t stand,” a voice whispered.

Zayn jerked around to find the source. Next to him was a girl. In a pink Hollister hoodie. He gently reached out his hand and softly slid the hood off of her hair. “Lottie...” he whispered. She cringed away.

“I’m so sorry. For every single thing I said to you. Every damn thing. I didn’t mean a word of that. I love spending time with you. I’d much prefer you over plastic bricks. I have no idea where that shit about Perrie came from. We’re just friends, have been for a while. You mean everything to me, I was so devastated when I thought you were dead, when I first walked into your grandmother’s house, all those medics, the ambulances. You are my world, and it was crashing down right in front of my eyes. And it’s in no way your fault about the lawyers and your grandmother, and I want you on tour with me. I NEED you on tour with me. You keep me sane. I’m so sorry, Lottie. I love you.”

She turned to face him slowly. “Zayn, I have no doubt that you mean all of that sincerely,” she paused, and he looked hopeful. “But all that shit about the lawyers and the concert and Perrie and the fans had to come from somewhere. Somewhere deep down, but somewhere. Is all that going to come pouring out every time you get mad? Make me feel unwanted and worthless because I forgot to feed the dog? Tell me to leave and never come back because I tore your favorite shirt? I can’t live like that, Zayn. You scare the shit out of me.”

That line alone, those seven words, made him die a little inside. “What can I say to you to make you give me another chance? Please, tell me what I can do,” he begged.

“Give me some space.”

“No. Anything but that. I can’t give you that.”

“What the hell, Zayn?”

“I can’t leave without knowing that we’re okay. I can’t let you go, with the very real possibility that I’ll never get you back. We have to work this out.”

“What is there to work out? Tell me Zayn, what am I supposed to do? Swoon and fall back into your arms? That’s not how it works,” she said, aggravated, throwing her arms in the air for emphasis.

“I know that, Lottie. I want to work through this, for real.”

“How? I made out with your best friend. You told me you hated me and to get lost. How do we ‘work it out’?” she asked, making sarcastic finger quotes in the air.

“I forgive you for kissing Liam. I forgive you. It was an accident. I forgive you.”

“That quickly? I stuck my tongue in your BEST FRIEND’S mouth and you don’t care? What is this? What is our relationship?”