LOVE and its True Meaning (One Shot)

I loved him. Gave him my all, my mind, soul and heart but what do I receive? Nothing, yes, I gave him all I have but I don’t receive anything from him in return. I love him with all my heart but he doesn’t love me back. But despite of all of that, I am still here by his side patiently waiting for him to love me in return.

A martyr huh, well, yes. I’d do anything to make him stay by my side. Even if that means, being a great martyr.

I know I am making myself such a big fool, making me believe that someday he will learn to love me.  I really don’t know what have gotten into my mind to love someone who doesn’t love me. Maybe that is what love’s all about.

Lying next to this man makes me the happiest girl in the world. He is the man I love the most. The man I can’t live without. Watching him deeply asleep, I run my index finger on his perfectly sculptured nose, to his ever kissable lips. I kissed his lips, and that made him open his eyes. I smile sweetly to him to make him know that I am indeed happy. I tried to kiss him again but he immediately stands up, living me disappointed but I can do nothing.

“I have to go, see you later.” Those are the first and last words that I’ve heard him utter this morning. He left me, leaving me with those words and a kiss on the cheeks.

Now, that he is not by my side all I do is to think of when I will see him. He just left but here I am waiting and eager to see him again.

I can’t do anything without him, oh, well I can do something. Yeah I can, I can wait for him to come back, should I even consider that a ‘do’?

A day without him seems empty and excruciating. I felt like crying, I really want him every now and then. I know I am being obsessed. But I really need him. Waiting here at the four corners of this room made me sick.

****

I am reading something, when I heard the door create a screeching noise. My heart almost stops in happiness, happiness of seeing him come back. The long day of waiting finally come to its end. My mood lightens up, and my lips started to create a big smile unconsciously. This man is my happiness and he is my life.

“Hi.” He greeted me plainly. I can’t even trace a single smile on his face.

“Hi.” I greeted him back, with a very bright smile. But he doesn’t smile back at me.

“Have you eaten yet?” he asked me, while looking for something to eat at the fridge.

“Ah, no I haven’t and you know I can’t eat without you.”  That’s the truth, I can’t eat without him.

He looked at me, poker faced. He seems unsatisfied with my answer but can’t do a thing, he’s about to say a word but nothing came out of his mouth. With him looking that tired from a day of work, I just let him rest and I didn’t even bother to begin a conversation anymore.

We are now lying on our bed when he suddenly utters some words.

“Stella, I’m already tired.” I was dumbfounded, trying to understand what he said. I already know what he means but all I can say is.

“Huh?” I pretended I didn’t hear a single word. I can’t accept the meaning of those words and my brain keeps on rejecting the thought.

The room again fills with emptiness; both of us can’t say a word. He positioned himself to sleep, and faced the other side of the bed. With his back that all I can see, subdued panic blaze inside me. The thought of him leaving me all alone forever scares me a lot.

*****

The clouds started to create a color, signaling the sun to rise and a cue that it’s already morning. This whole night, the times seems killing me softly. I didn’t sleep all night, making the biggest decision I’ve ever made in my life.